It's Friday, which means it's once again time to crown the most heinous reality star of the week! Just like last week, I'll state the case for my top five nominees and then choose a winner based on a highly scientific process of deeming who is the most egregiously awful. The big question this week: Can anyone out-horrible Donald Trump? These four jerks are going to try!
Donald Trump, The Celebrity Apprentice
Trump finds Gary Busey amusing. Fine, we all do. But when you keep Busey around for weeks while his teammates and your own children keep telling you he's contributing nothing to the tasks (and while Meatloaf nearly murders him) just because he's your current favorite court jester, you're not only annoying, you're kind of cruel. And how dare you make me feel all indignant about the treatment of Mark McGrath, of all people. How dare you, sir.
Molly, America's Next Top Model
All the girls on Top Model this season hate Alexandria for reasons that we really haven't been privy to viewing firsthand (she's apparently "fake," though the cameras haven't shown it), and this hatred is so fiery it's taking over all their lives. Last week, Brittani had a meltdown in front of Nigel over it, and this week, Molly scowled, pouted, bitched, moaned and somehow took the querulous reputation of models to whole new levels of petulance.
Cara Castronuova, The Biggest Loser
New trainer Cara sucked even before she burst into tears and screamed at Ken for having the nerve to ask her to do her job this week. Now she just sucks more.
Jennifer Lopez, American Idol
Originally, J.Lo was going to be on this list because of her "I'm afraid to critique the girls!" comment in regards to Hailey Reinhart's performance this week -- which was honestly a perfectly fine performance and certainly better than J.Lo's crush Stefano's Boyz II Men screeching -- because it was condescending and inappropriate, and a presumptuous view of her control over the voters. But then last night happened, and now she's on the list for that enragingly smug smile she flashed for a moment when her beloved Stefano was saved and Paul McDonald was sent packing. And I like Paul McDonald about as much as I like Mark McGrath; stop making me feel emotions about these people, you bastards.
Tamar, Braxton Family Values
I don't know if anybody watched the premiere of We's reality show about Toni Braxton's sisters this week, but if you've been missing both Rock of Love and Nene Leakes in a catfight setting (she's had shades of Atlanta on Celebrity Apprentice, but that's it), you will find Tamar's constant yelling hilariously amazing. She's like an Olympic-level instigator, and in just forty short minutes she proved herself as one of the most self-centered people I've ever seen.
Close one this week, but I'm giving it to Jennifer Lopez. I may not understand it, but it's OK to love Stefano. But you're kind of supposed to be impartial here -- try not to look so happy when he undeservedly beats people.
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