The new season of Big Brother starts on Thursday, at which point we fully expect some of those housebound idiots to be vying for this coveted title on a regular basis. Until then, we're stuck sifting through housewives, home cooks and social media "experts" to see who really deserves to be called the most heinous reality personality of the week.
Alison Haislip (The Voice)
We enjoyed the first season of The Voice, but we're glad it's over since it means we're free of Alison's annoying presence. She basically exists for the sole purpose of plugging electronics and clothing, but her grating way of presenting social media made us appreciate Brooke Burke. And her "geek speak" just sounded forced, despite her real nerd credentials. Don't pander to us with Highlander references.
Ashley (The Bachelorette)
Anyone that uses the name Bentley more than 50 times in a two-day period should work at some sort of car dealership. She whined about him, met with him and decided that she was over him almost immediately upon seeing him. She selfishly thought nothing of telling her other suitors that they were all basically chopped liver, as she really wanted to be with Bentley (who she was supposedly over) and then had the nerve to look shocked when they were upset and walked out on her.
Max is a cocky, self-involved rich 18-year-old kid from New York who would have fit in better on NYC Prep than this show, bugging us for weeks with his spoiled palate talk. But he was not the weak link on the sausage-making challenge, and team leader Esther should have realized that. But she threw him under the bus instead of standing up and taking responsibility for the fact that she had no idea a) how to lead or b) make sausage. We were hoping Gordon Ramsay would find a way to publicly shame her for her cowardly actions.
Teresa (Real Housewives of New Jersey)
We kind of love it when Teresa is bad. Her table flipping is legendary and holds up on multiple viewings. However, we do not need to hear her talk dirty. Showing off her bubbies is fine, but talking about riding her husband and actually displaying his vibrating cock ring (and demonstrating how it works while rolling around in bed with Juicy Joe) was quite possibly the most offensive thing we've ever seen on this show. And that's saying a lot.
Dr. Drew (16 and Pregnant Reunion)
He's always terrible, but making young ladies feel bad about the fact that they got knocked up young and can't keep their relationships together is probably the ickiest thing he does all year. This time around, he made one girl promise to get treatment for her eating disorder on TV, even though she clearly was ashamed to talk about it any more than she had. And he attempted to force another girl to let her baby see its crazy, verbally abusive, sometimes drug-addicted grandmother without the mom's personal supervision. As an added bonus this week, he also gave his typical condescending stares to the hopeless messes of Bai Ling and Sean Young as they entered Celebrity Rehab.
Teresa. Because the size of Juicy's package isn't something we'd ever like to think about, and actually seeing her face while she demonstrated how to use the vibrator has scarred us for life. And because that, by now, those future Teen Mom stars and the C-list addicts know what they were getting into when they signed up to be with Dr. Drew.
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