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The Most Heinous Person on Reality TV This Week

It's the week of Jersey Shore and yet those morons weren't the worst people on TV... yet. Let's give them time, shall we? In the meantime, see who did make the cut.

Ashley (Real Housewives of NJ)
We've never been particularly big fans of Jacqueline's spoiled, insufferable daughter and her hair-pulling antics, and her attitude about her stepdad and her entitled feelings towards having a car really rub us the wrong way. But not buying your mom a Christmas gift, or even making her something, so you could buy stuff for your car instead? That's obnoxious, and it was more obnoxious when she said "whatever" when someone asked her about it. We want to smack her.

Arianna (L.A. Ink)
Speaking of young people who are given handouts and are then just annoying about it, there's the freeloading Arianna on L.A. Ink. She's living rent-free in Kat's amazing place, with the only stipulation that this girl (who is just a fan of Kat's that wrote her a letter about taking care of a sick mother and then dealing with a drug addiction) work at one of Kat's many ventures. But instead of working, she goofs around taking pictures, talking to mannequins, forgetting how to count and text-messaging constantly. Her only defense for her incompetent behavior is that she thought she'd just be hanging out with Kat all day long. Really? That's what you really thought?

Danielle (Famous Food)
It's not that we expected Danielle Staub to change after she almost made Ashley Dupre quit, but she's still beating the horse about how all of her political friends won't come to the new restaurant if Ashley is involved. Really, but being a prostitution whore with a police record doesn't bother them? Anyway, her real crime this week was repeatedly quitting work early and going to get Botox while everyone else actually tried to make a restaurant work. And then when Jake called for a check so they could pay a sign guy, the megalomaniac ex-Housewife refused, saying that she was in complete control of the money, and in turn explained that was her plan for running the restaurant. If there's no sign, or a kitchen (which was shut down because of code issues), there's not going to be a restaurant.

Cathy (Dance Moms)
Honestly, when this show premiered, we totally imagined that Abby would be on our list every week. But even though the no-nonsense dance instructor prods her students with a foam bat (at least we hope it's foam) to bend their knees properly, Cathy's the worst. She refuses to ride with everyone, won't stay and cheer for the other hard-working girls in the competition, complains incessantly about Abby's choreography, brags about her own dance studio and then has no faith that her child can even do Abby's routine. Just do us all a favor and go home already, because your kid doesn't even really want to be there.

Brendon (Big Brother)
He may think he's some sort of genius for "faking out" people by taking Rachel off the block and not himself, but he's not -- no matter how many times he mentions his Ph.D. studies. But the reason he made the list this week was because his move left us with Rachel. And not just regular annoying Rachel, but really, really obnoxious Rachel who is going to talk about "my man" all the goddamn time and whine and cry until we are forced to throw objects at our televisions.

Winner: Danielle
Because all the Botox in the world isn't going to make her more attractive, and she's not exactly what you'd call smart. She thinks that WordPerfect is still a thing, hires a sous chef without approval from anyone, doesn't understand how to make a menu, refuses to acknowledge deadlines and/or take responsibility for her own actions and also can't comprehend that someone else can go to a bank and get checks if their name is on an account. Yeah, that's totally who we'd want running our restaurant.

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