I am legitimately bummed that this is the final season of Teen Mom with Amber, Farrah, Maci and Catelynn. Much as I have come around to enjoy the ladies of Teen Mom 2, last night's two-hour premiere was a cold hard reminder that we've only got so much time left with our O.G.s. Here are the premiere's highlights:
Amber, Gary and Leah
The very fact that she's in rehab -- which she very clearly needed for a long time -- is already going to be a season highlight on principle alone... though it looks like things will eventually go downhill, given that TMZ recently reported that she's going to
jell jail and everything. On a lighter note, I did like the scene where Gary clipped Leah's toenails and then kissed her feet when she said, "Ow!" Also, does Amber have her hand pierced? What even is that?
Farrah, Debra, Michael and Sophia
Farrah giving her daughter the five-cent tour of her sexapades with Derek (whose grave we visited later, in case it's not already impossibly easy to make me cry) was pretty perfectly in character, as opposed to Farrah actually making a good decision in taking Sophia with her to Florida after all. Debra is clearly the most overbearing parent on MTV, and so watching Sophia slam on piano keys (unbeknownst to her how awesomely dramatic it seemed on camera) and tell her grandma that she won't miss her was awesome. I still can't believe Farrah's dad Michael agreed to make the five-day drive down to Fort Lauderdale alone with all of her crap in tow. And Debra bitterly drinking the Farrah wine was the best part of the episode. I have never felt so bad for a waiter in my life.
Maci, Kyle, Ryan and Bentley
Poor Bentley and his separation anxiety -- thank goodness for waterslides and funny faces to get him through it. Here's hoping the rumors that Kyle and Maci broke up aren't true, because watching him play with Bentley is incredibly sweet... as opposed to watching Maci have drawn-out arguments with him.
Catelynn, Tyler and Carly
I've talked to a lot of people who think that Catelynn and Tyler shouldn't be on this show, but they've always been my favorite couple (most likely for the reason that they show teen viewers that it's not exactly the easy road to have a child and then give it up for adoption) -- just look at their pictures from meeting with Brandon, Theresa and Carly, and their private birthday celebration in their apartment where the two of them made wishes for her future. Also of note: Carly already speaks far better English than Butch and April combined.
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