Last night, Expedition Impossible, the latest competition reality show debuted and this one bears some remarkable similarities to The Amazing Race. It's from the mind of Mark Burnett, the reality mega-producer who brought us the granddaddy of competitive reality shows, Survivor. He also brought us Pirate Master, but he'd probably prefer that we forget about that one. Anyway, I was excited because I loved Burnett's early series Eco-Challenge (though the production values lacked some sparkle, the actual physicality of the show was appreciated) and hoped that this would be a modern version of that. In some ways it is, but in other ways, it also liberally borrows from TAR. Here's how to keep these shows straight and figure out which is worth your time if the majority of your life isn't spent watching reality shows like mine is.

Hey everybody, welcome to the very first officially summer edition of heinous reality star bashing! This week runs the gamut from misogynists to terrible mothers to drunks (the most reliable nominees in the world) to crazy ladies scaring me with dolls. Let's get right into it: five nominees; one most horrible winner.

Hey everybody, it is time again to judge the reality hordes for their heinous behavior! And what a doozy this week was. I had to cut all kinds of horrible behavior just to make room for my five nominees, but if you'll indulge me, I'd still like to disparage them here in a dishonorable mention kind of way. Ahem! Nice try, Tamar from Braxton Family Values, for emasculating your sister's husband and making her separation proceedings all about you. I'd also like to recognize the Duggars for becoming an infomercial for Focus on the Family this week, as well as LuAnn from The Real Housewives of New York for being a snotty, if hilarious ("Herman Munster shoes"), bitch, and Dana from Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition for constantly and heinously referring to himself in the third person. Now, on to business as usual: five nominees; one trash king to rule them all.

Well, Ramona and Sonja continued to be abhorrent people in Morocco, but since they earned a nod last week, we figured we'd diversify just a little bit and pick on the people that actually deserve it.

Some of us may still be recovering from the cultural moment that was American Idol, but it looks like there's no rest for the weary reality fan ahead. A plethora of talent competition shows, including The Voice, America's Got Talent, So You Think You Can Dance and last night's Platinum Hit, all take center stage this summer. But no matter how fantastic, absurd, or otherwise unpredictable their respective contestants are, it's the judges that give them their -- pardon the pun -- voice, not to mention their mood, sense of humor and overall vibe. And yes, they also give the shows their legitimacy (or lack thereof). Here's how each judge rates:

Today is not just Friday, it's a holiday weekend Friday, so let's not mess around. Below are my five nominees for the week's Most Heinous crown, followed by the big winner. I know I promised you some Bachelorette horribleness this week, but there were just too many awful people everywhere else, so Ashley and the fellas are going to have to wait a week. Can't wait!

TGIF, everybody -- time to judge some strangers again! As usual, I have presented my five most heinous reality stars of this week and crowned a most horrible but deserving winner. A lot of great, drunken fights this round, so that's fun. Make sure to check out next week's, where there will undoubtedly be some Bachelorette action in the mix.

Frankly, just about everybody involved with American Idol at this point could be nominees this week, but for the sake of diversity, I have only one nominee from that horror show and four deserving nominees from other shows entirely. Let's get right to the bloodshed, shall we?

If you haven't seen the season finale of Fringe stop reading right now... Anyway, what basically happened is that Peter Bishop went to the future, fixed a bunch of stuff and then had his existence eliminated after the show's two universes finally came together (at least in one room). Thanks, Observers. Not only did the cliffhanger leave us dying to know what will happen next season, but it also made us ponder how our own world would be different if all traces of Joshua Jackson (the actor) was suddenly removed from reality. Here are the awful chain reactions that might occur:

I know we all have Royal Wedding fever today -- or if you're me, Royal Wedding hats fever -- but it is still Friday, which means it's time to take a break from The Most Important Wedding of All Time to turn our attention to royals of a different kind: the royal douchebags of this week's reality TV. Here are my five nominees, plus this week's winner. Don't worry, I'll try to make it brief so you don't feel like you're cheating on Catherine (I try to honor the Queen and abstain from calling her Kate) and William too much.