Rob Mariano, best known as Boston Rob, is cashing in on his Survivor/Amazing Race fame with a new show that won't force him to share the spotlight with other dirty and starving people. He and some guy who made a monster truck (yes, really) are going to be doing a History Channel show called Around the World in 80 Ways. The duo will have to travel around the globe via various modes of transportation without ever using any of them more than once (we look forward to the dirigible). Between this and seeing Colby Donaldson happily handling weaponry on Top Shot, it made us think of what kinds of series we'd like to see from other Survivor alums, given their unique qualifications.

TGIF, everybody! It's time to sort through all the human trash that was on reality TV this week and crown a king of the garbage heap. The following are my five nominees, plus this week's big winner. As always, this stuff is extremely scientific and cannot be argued with. Congratulations, top jerk!

It's Friday, which means it's once again time to crown the most heinous reality star of the week! Just like last week, I'll state the case for my top five nominees and then choose a winner based on a highly scientific process of deeming who is the most egregiously awful. The big question this week: Can anyone out-horrible Donald Trump? These four jerks are going to try!

Because each week's eliminated American Idol contestant media call is a repetitive display of scripted, vague, overly positive answers from extremely coached individuals, I thought I'd break up the formula with this week's Pia Toscano call, and simply check off each required answer we seem to get from every Idol castoff every week. Unsurprisingly, Pia hit all the requirements. Slightly surprisingly, she also repeatedly asserted that she is psychic. That sure is weird!

I watch a lot of reality television and I tend to get my hackles raised by a number of reprehensible people on those shows every week. For too long, many of them have just fallen through the cracks here because they don't really warrant their own posts for one reason or another, so I've decided to start picking the five worst offenders every week in a little round-up of stone-throwing. Below, I state the cases for this week's five nominees and then crown a winner.

Against my better judgment, I watched two episodes of Extreme Couponing last night and found that the new TLC series oddly fascinated and infuriated me on so many different levels. Like the patrons at the stores where these women shop, I couldn't stop look away as four full carts of groceries shrunk down from several hundreds of dollars (in one case nearly two thousand) to next to nothing. On one hand, it was kind of impressive. But on the other hand, that's only if you discount (no pun intended) all of the stuff they already have at home, the fact that they don't need most of these items and the amount of time it takes them to get this stuff.

I'm so glad this Mobbed show exists just so all of the things that horrify and upset me can live in one place where I can just ignore them collectively. It's very convenient. And after watching this one episode, I don't ever need to see another because I think I'm kind of scarred for life.

During the boardroom on last night's Celebrity Apprentice, Nene Leakes (after she stopped crying for no reason) called Dionne Warwick out for being plain old lazy during the task. And with all the eye rolling that immediately ensued, I was hoping for some big blowout that would devolve into name-calling and nitpicking and the rest of the craziness that this show was once known for. Unfortunately, Dionne gave up without much of a fight and basically told Donald Trump that she should be fired. Wait, what? One of the biggest personalities (not necessarily in a good way) that this show had this season basically just walked off after calling Nene a coward on her way to the elevator? What happened to the drama? Are these folks afraid to come across as the new Annie Duke or Joan Rivers? Are celebrities (aside from Star Jones) worried that they'll get a bad rep if they defend their actions in the boardroom?

After hearing how bad The Situation was when they taped this roast, I was dreading it, and, well, for his part he totally bombed. Completely. There was deafening silence as he delivered his clunkers which turned to extremely vocal boos during the course of his few minute stint. Jeff Ross tried in vain to assist him, but it was too late, Sitch's comedy career was dead on arrival. However, I'd love it if he was at future roasts, not to deliver any of his own "zingers," but because he was the butt of more jokes than Trump himself. Fair warning, the content below is not for the faint of heart, or really anyone who doesn't have a sense of humor.

The first ladies of Bravo returned last night (well, one of them is still left, at least), and in typical Real Housewives of Orange County fashion, the premiere episode was a big, loud, drunken, sloppy mess. Welcome back, girls. I always think I won't, but oh, how I've missed you all.