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Modern Family: The Funniest Lines of the Night

I'd say "Send Out the Clowns" was a pretty funny episode, but I may have a higher tolerance for Fizbo and general clown humor than the average viewer. We were probably overdue for an episode where Cam and Mitch bickered the whole time, so at least Lewis (Bobby Cannavale, who will forever be "the guy who ate his own spunk" in my heart) was thrown in there to mix things up for a change. It seems the writers are back in the groove with Manny, though the odd cut-to of him in a horse costume in front of an obvious green screen was kind of weird. And one thing I do appreciate about Modern Family is that they'll actually name-drop Oreos and Facebook -- ironically, I generally hate product placements (assuming this mention was even paid for), but the fact that Claire will talk about Facebook rather than rip-off fake Internet sites like "Facepage" and "MyBook" is one of the few times this sort of thing enhances the joke instead of drawing the audience out of the reality of the show.

Anyway, most of funniest moments in "Send Out the Clowns" were non-verbal, but a few lines were pretty great:

"[Sad slide whistle.]"
Yes, this is actually just a sound, but it was by far my favorite clown gag of the night. Fizbo and Lewis in the kitchen with Lily at 5 AM was pretty cute, too.

"Aren't we already gathered?"
It was a nice callback joke (if not a tad cheesy), and I appreciate seeing Haley and Alex's character development and their strengthening bond as the sisters get older.

"Luke, what are you doing? You got to eat it like it's an ear of corn."
That giant Oreo looked absolutely delicious, by the way.

"I'm like a boxer before the big fight. That's why I didn't have sex with Claire last night."
Because Modern Family knows how to write an awkward T.M.I. moment for Phil and Claire. My third favorite Phil line was: "We call her 'The Nightmare on Elm Street,' because she sold a lot of houses on Elm Street," but I fear officially including it will reveal how much I truly love corny dad-jokes.

"Salutations, Wyatt. I'm so glad you're joining me for an afternoon of mirth! Ah, good evening, Reuben-San. May I ask you to remove your shoes? Tonight, we are going Japanese. [Bows] Ah! Heba laboo ridabaylay lay mubay rumboom. I invented a new language this morning."
Also, Manny should have a minimum of four outfit changes per episode.

"Everybody else has accepted my Facebook requests! Your father, Uncle Mitchell, Adele. That's right. Adele has agreed to be my friend, and my own daughters haven't."
Julie Bowen completely sold this D-plot for me. On a lesser show it would be been pretty obnoxious, but on this series every line of dialogue about the kids not accepting her friend request felt so real.

"Griffin! Manny! Do you want to go with Jay to ride his motorcycle, or you want to go with me to the supermarket to buy a couple of onions?"
I'm glad the writers didn't go the route of Gloria feeling completely ashamed about her body in the wake the whole Griffin thing. Her microscopic outfits each week often feel pretty ridiculous, so it's always a plus when they're at least remotely addressed.

"A real man would have just poisoned the soup."
Ellen Barkin's guest appearance as Mitzi Roth was also a lot of fun, though I hoped that it'd be revealed at the very end that she knew Luke was trying to pull one over on her all along. Oh well. At least we got a pro tip on how to induce fake tears ("The Three Stooges are all dead.") and a gag about Claire's wild past.

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