So, will Season 3 of the series be called POTUS?
From the beginning of Veep, series creator Armando Iannucci vowed that we'd never see Selina Meyer's boss, the ostensible Commander in Chief. And he stuck to that promise last night; when POTUS unexpectedly dropped by the Veep's office for a tête-à-tête, he stayed behind her office door away from our prying eyes. However, based on the result of that meeting, it's possible that we've been watching a President (if not necessarily the President) all along. That's right, due to the various scandals engulfing his screwed-up administration, Selina's boss has ruled out running for a second term, which puts his old second-in-command in line to be the one in command.
Getting to that point, though, required the characters navigating through an obstacle course laden with the usual misunderstandings. Selina first learned about her boss's decision early on in the episode, after letting the rest of her staff now that she had decided not to seek a second term as the Veep. So her underlings scattered to the wind looking for new jobs, only to reaffirm their loyalty to Selina when she told them that POTUS was stepping down. But loose lips sink ships and Meyer's presidential aspirations were poised to go down like the Titanic when gossips like Roger Furlong helped spread rumors that the Oval Office was going to have a vacancy sign in two years. The President's visit seemed to be the icing on her turd cake, so certain was she that he was dropping by to kick her posterior to the curb. But for once, things broke Selina's way and she's gonna be making a run for the big chair once again... provided she can outwit, outplay and outlast media darling Danny Chung. Hey, as long as Selina still swears like a sailor and insults everyone in sight, we'll stick with her whether the show's called Veep or POTUS. Speaking of insults, here are the best put-downs from the Season 2 finale. See all you varicose dick veins back here in 2014.
Amy: "That night that you stayed over and we read the papers the next morning. That was really nice. And I thought, 'Yeah, that is something I could do for the rest of my life.'"
This may not sound like an insult in on paper, but trust us -- it was all in the delivery, with Amy making a lazy morning spent in the company of sort-of boyfriend Ed sound like two days on a spider-infested canoe in the middle of the Amazon. You could tell he wasn't buying her attempt at a compliment either, answering, "I like sleep and newspapers as much as the rest person, but the rest of your life... you're going to get bedsores."
Selina: "Wish I could break his spine. But I can't! 'Cause it's made of Jell-O."
As if you needed further proof that Selina's relationship with POTUS was at a breaking point...
Roger: "What do you move like, Will?"
Will: "I move as slowly as a Mississippi detective investigating the murder of a young black man."
Roger: "Come on Wilbo Faggins, let's go."
Jonah's been our favorite punching bag all season, but Roger's long-suffering assistant Will has taken a number of brutally funny body blows as well. It's even more humiliating when your boss forces you to parrot back an insult for the enjoyment of another person he has even less respect for (specifically Mike).
Ben: "Well, now POTUS can't say that he won't be running for re-election because it will look like he's being pushed out. So now our spineless, flip-floppy fuckbag is staying."
Again with the spinal humor! This is why we picture POTUS as one of those sedentary blob-like humans in Wall-E.
Selina: "Gotta get out of here before I set fire to one of these nerds."
You'd think that even Selina would be able to find a nasty word to say about peppy, science-enthused students at a local school science fair... but you'd be wrong. She was clearly a drama major during her school days.
Dan: "Oh, god. You now if I had a dollar for every time you mentioned that goddamn war, I'd buy a tank and I'd blow your fat fucking head off."
After flirting with the idea of joining the Chung campaign, Dan declares his independence from the slimily ambitious soldier-turned-politician in grand style. It's always good to support our war veterans, but maybe not one as obnoxious as this guy.
Selina: "That's Washington D.C. for you. D.C. -- District of Cunts."
We're only surprised it took her two seasons to launch this particular grenade. Seems like the sort of obvious insult you'd make in the pilot. Or at least the second episode.
Amy: "Enough about the fucking boat, Mike. Take a flare gun, put it in your mouth and blow your head off."
See, Ed? This is what your pseudo-girlfriend sounds like when her filter is off. More color commentary like that and those lazy mornings she not-so-fondly describes won't be quite so lazy...
Ed: "You're the secretary to the vice president, that's like being Garfunkel's roadie."
Ah yes, we forgot for a moment that Ed "Dead Dicks" Webster can dish out abuse as well as take it. Now we want to hear what a lazy morning at Ed 'n' Amy's sounds like.
Sue: "Gary, call Dana. She called 90 times. Talk to her -- then sedate her."
If we have a complaint about the finale, it was a lack of classic Sue put-downs. At least she got off this one line aimed at Gary's hyper-annoying, cheese-wielding girlfriend. Hey, instead of Selina, he should have enlisted Sue to have a talk with her about letting him keep his job as the Veep's bag man. She would have had Dana agreeing to pay Gary to stay by the Vice President's side.
Secret Service Officer: "Ma'am, the President has left the building."
Selina: "Who gives a flying fuck?"
The best part about POTUS handing in his resignation letter? Now Selina doesn't even have to pretend to respect the guy in mixed company. Not that she ever really did before...
Ben: "And so it begins... with a kick in the tits."
Just because Selina scored a win doesn't mean she's clear of the usual mishaps, which in this case involves Dan cannibalizing an anecdote he penned for a Danny Chung speech for her science fair pep talk, a similarity that the media immediately picks up on. Welcome to the big time, Selina! Same shit, different day.
Dan: "Was your mom plagiarizing the Bible when she went 'Oh god, oh god.'"?
Dan saved what may be his finest insult of the season for the finale credit scroll. Thing of beauty, sir. Plagiarize that for your next speech.
Selina: "Jonah -- don't talk, don't stay. You need to fuck off and go back to Westworld."
Selina: "Jonah, hey listen, settle something for me. You like to have sex and you like to travel? Then you can fuck off."
The other missing ingredient to the finale was more Jonah tell-offs. We sincerely hope that he's not joining his boss on the way out the door of the West Wing. Veep just ain't Veep without Washington's worst liaison.
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