Usually if the Super Bowl is disappointing, at least the commercials are a highlight. This year, it felt like a failure all around with only a handful of ads leaving even a remote impression on us, while some of them were just awful. And it probably didn't help matters that the majority of the spots were released a few days early, taking the anticipation factor out altogether. Instead, the only real highlight of the night (unless you were a Seahawks fan, in which case, congrats!) was Bruno Mars (with the Red Hot Chili Peppers) and the calming ticking of the 24 teasers that made us excited for that show's return. Here's what you missed if you (wisely) opted to watch Downton/Sherlock instead of the big game.
This Stephen Colbert ad literally haunted our nightmares post-game. Between that and visions of Prince playing Ping-Pong, our minds were clearly screwed up. Why did Colbert have to look like the Great Gazoo? It's disconcerting. And we're surely hoping this doesn't give someone the brainy idea to reboot The Flintstones again.
Ellen gets her Goldilocks on to find the perfect music player. It was fine, but lacked the wow factor.
Commercial producers should know by now that the last thing we want to do during Super Bowl festivities is read subtitles. Cute idea, but we missed most of the joke the first time as we were clearly not paying attention to what we though was going to be another lame car commercial.
Budweiser: Puppy Love
What a sweet little beer commercial. Can't go wrong with horses and puppies. It's like the ad agencies finally discovered Tumblr.
Coca-Cola: It's Beautiful
We're sure that there are people offended by this one, but we liked it enough that maybe we won't just hit the skip button next time we're DVRing something. Maybe.
Add this to things that will haunt our dreams. This one was just plain old creepy.
Terry Crews getting his car hijacked by the Muppets was the commercial that our kids liked the most. Though for us, the best part was the look on Kermit's face when he saw Crews dancing out of the sunroof like a loon.
For the nostalgia factor alone, we enjoyed this one, though we weren't crazy about having to explain the joke of CHiPs, Hulk Hogan, Mary Lou Retton, Dee Snider, Alf, Teen Wolf, Chucky and landline telephones to the younger viewers watching with us.
Engineers getting their wings is no Fahrvergnügen.
Sony Crackle (aka the Seinfeld one)
It was nice seeing some of the gang back together (even Newman) but this Seinfeld ad did a sucky job of advertising what it was supposed to (unlike the Full House Okios spot, which was dumb but at least we know what they were selling). Here, we thought maybe it was trying to promote mumbling.
Because nothing says family fun at at the Super Bowl like pimping out cattle.
Honda: Hug Someone
This Bruce Willis hugging one got us. Solely for Fred Armisen's weird face.
What an utter waste of Scarlett Johansson for this stupidity.
Okay, the ads were for T-Mobile, but for someone who wasn't even playing in the game, Tim Tebow was probably the quarterback scene stealer of the night. Who needs to actually play a sport, right?
And there were a lot of forgettable things for Geico, Doritos, the Ford Fusion Rob Riggle/James Franco nonsense, the Bud Light "Let's put some random stranger at a party" spot, the cute Cheerios commercial with the little girl getting a sibling that Matrix thing, the weird Axe peace spray and that sleepy time Sonos ad. You can watch them all (if you feel so inclined): here on Hulu.com
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