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Conveyor Belt of Love: I've Watched Stupider Shows, But Not Many

I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that someone pitched a dating show where guys come out on a conveyor belt, present themselves to women and then get selected or returned. And that said show got produced and actually aired on a major network. It's utterly baffling, but yet, I guess it really isn't any more ridiculous than Dating in the Dark or Joe MIllionaire now, is it?

I watched this show with absolutely no expectations, so I couldn't be annoyed or let down by it because, frankly, I was mostly prepared to turn it off after five minutes. But I slogged through the entire pointless hour after having already seen two hours of the overly padded Bachelor, and it was stupid, but mostly watchable and had maybe one slightly redeeming quality.

The premise is this: the guys come out, try their best lines on ladies and the five women can say if they are interested or not (via paddles) and then the woman who is interested puts the guy in her little box. If no one picks the guy, he goes away. If multiple women pick the same guy, he gets to choose which woman he wants to date. If a woman already has a guy in her box, she can trade up for a new fella. Sorta simple, and like speed dating, but tackier.

The part that I hated most about the show was that it encourages every idiot to come out and do something stupid in order to get two minutes of fame. It's like America's Got Talent in that way. You get a bunch of half-assed magicians who think they are David Copperfield and want their shot at fame so they go on shows like this, which means that there are a lot of truly undateable guys on here. Really just the worst sorts of wannabe-actor men in the world. I hate shows that encourage that, but I guess that's what boosts the ratings. What do I know? America's Got Talent is hugely popular and that's mind-boggling to me as well. If the producers had screened these idiots before sending them out, I think I would've been a lot more tolerant, but I get that America likes to laugh at morons, so out go the stupid human tricks.

That one redeemable thing? On last night's special (which I'm guessing could be turned into a series if the public demanded it ... which I hope they don't) some of the women were kind of impressive. Self-involved, for sure, but they actually knew exactly what they wanted. I admired one girl for sticking with a chubby sommelier because he made her laugh. And another for picking a guy in a speedo because he had a cute dog. Or the other for ousting one hot guy for a cute nerd type that liked the Watchmen graphic novel. They weren't all about taking the prettiest guy there, which was refreshing. And the two women who picked mostly based on attractiveness got duds as dates.

Now I doubt that any of these relationships lasted longer than a minute, and I certainly don't care as I wasn't even invested enough to learn anyone's names, but as far as dating shows go it could have been a lot worse. And with only one special episode, it could be a quick and painless blip on my TV radar, only to come back up at the end of the year when I'm trying to figure out the most ridiculous shows of 2010.

If you missed it, watch all the mediocrity in its entirety below!

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