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The Most Ridiculous Lines from Last Night’s <I>Dance Moms</i>

How is it even possible that Dance Moms is getting better at this point? Last night's "Return Of The Candy Apples" has solidified not only that Season 2 can live up to the hype of Season 1 -- it might just "turn it into applesauce," if you will. There's also news of a Dance Moms: Miami in the works, but I can't even wrap my head around that right now, what with all of these amazing quotes that sprouted up in this episode.

"Umm, SHHH! We don't get to talk!"
--Abby to new mom Jill, despite screaming at Holly last episode about how she must be there every second of every grueling practice.

"Dance like you want a puppy. Earn your puppy"
--The wonderful Cathy to her daughter Vivi-Anne, who, soon after, cut her finger on her mom's ring and was deathly afraid that she may not be able to dance anymore. I also love that Cathy and Candy Apple's [sic.] have their own "repertoire of enemies." Other great lines from Cathy in this episode: "Abby Lee, she draws on abs. We have real abs," and, "Look at me with your ears!"

"Maddie, no more stupid mistakes."
--Abby. I'd also like to point out that, last week, Mackenzie was in a box during her performance, and this week she ended up in a bushel of apples.

"Are you drunk? Are you drinking? [Signals a drinking motion] You're humiliating your kids."
--Abby to her best friend, Kelly, in front of all of the dancers and their mothers. To be fair, Kelly did not deny this claim.

"Ugh, that's not very 'Katy Perry.'"
--The collective assortment of the moms. And this was supposed to be a bad thing. Surprisingly, the Amish '40s hairstyles and costumes turned out to be pretty adorable and effective enough to win them first place for their group number. Still, the moms are especially catty this season, especially Christi... not that I blame them, exactly. Nor do I fault Cathy for trying to poach them.

"How about the next time you're out, I need a husband!'"
--Abby, clearly thankful for her suck-up gift from Jill and Melissa. This is one of the few times Abby has expressed loneliness on this show, so maybe that'll be a running theme this season. Her vulnerability was clearly exposed in front of Cathy later, when she was caught trying to be the "bigger" person by casually ignoring Cathy... while wearing a single curler in her hair. For shame! Why didn't any of the children tell her?!

"You know me, I don't ever rock the boat."
--Cathy, awesomely. I never thought there'd be a birthers episode of Dance Moms, but from here on out, I'm expecting the unexpected.

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