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The Telefile
<I>Scandal</I>: Most Scandalous Moments of the Week

Well, it wasn't as much fun as last week's Washington madam storyline, or even remotely as entertaining, "Hell Hath No Fury" did deliver some fun twists and turns. Especially since we've never really trusted Zach from The O.C. and now we know why.

David Likes Dogs, Not Friends
In our scant few moments with the always wonderful Josh Malina, we get to see him walking his dog as well as begrudgingly accepting a cup of coffee from a prying Olivia. He doesn't cave to her demands, insists they aren't friends, but after she helps him, agrees that they could be. Is it wrong that we ship them?

Mellie's The Most Understanding Wife Since Margaery Tyrell
While Scandal's lovely First Lady might not have to deal with her husband wanting to have sex with her brother, she does understand that Fitz needs to have Olivia in his life in order to sleep well. Who knew that Mellie was even aware of their affair? So instead of buying him a bottle of Ambien, she orders Olivia to come to a state dinner just so her husband can have his hookup and then chill the hell out.

Fitz Needs Lessons on Subtlety
Actually, we're not surprised that Mellie sussed out the affair, as Fitz happily professed his love for Olivia in the middle of a dance floor. Hell, after seeing her in that slinky white dress, we can hardly blame him. But he could have been a little less obvious, as the two of them give off major sparks when they are together. Their intimate dance was way sexier than anything we've seen between him and Mellie.

Cyrus Is a Badass
We love Cyrus. Turns out we love Cyrus even more when he's angry. Pissed off that he thinks Olivia is trying to blackmail the president with an Amanda sex tape, he confronts Olivia and then has her escorted off the property and lies to the president about Olivia's motives. That's one way to keep Fitz in line. His best line? "I never took you for the hell-hath-no-fury type. It's a little trashy, but so is having an affair with a married man."

Paris Geller's a Bitch
Amanda may be telling the truth about having sex with the president, but she's playing everyone around her -- including Olivia -- by lying about speaking to a reporter, presumably sending her sex tape to the White House and then telling Olivia she's pregnant. We'd feel bad for her if we didn't think she was up to no good.

Why You Should Never Fake a Rape
Because eventually someone like Olivia Pope and her team is going to find out that you didn't really get raped by some rich kid and will tear you to shreds publicly. Then again, if you are doing it in order to get revenge on the spoiled brat who drove your friend to suicide, then we suggest you call Emily Thorne for some advice on how to do it without getting your hands dirty.

We'd Live in Fear If Olivia Was Our Mother
When JoBeth Williams' rich mom was waffling about letting her son get away with raping a girl, Olivia gave her a lesson on tough love and made her send her own son up the river. It was great, if terrifying. And it was nice to see that the entitled Travis (Michael Cassidy) got what he deserved.

Why You Should Never Put Quinn In Charge Of Anything
How does she still have this job? She's tasked with getting the scoop on Gideon, fumbles through a phone call and would have gotten drunk and ruined her chances if it weren't for Huck. He stepped in and gave her tips on how to be more effective and she almost pulled it off, but primarily because Gideon was easy prey. And then she forgot to tell Olivia about she learned until the next day. Does she not understand the urgency of this whole fixer business at all?

Even Idiots Can Get a Break Sometimes
Gideon stumbled on to the Amanda story by accident, but Olivia effectively shut him up by promising to give him some dirt once it has all blown over. And simply because he followed Quinn and Amanda to Olivia's office, he ended up with a major exclusive about Sandra Harding turning her son in for rape. Not bad for a guy on the cherry blossom beat.

Olivia's Really Taken Customer Service to the Next Level
Some of Olivia's most troubled clients get to stay at her house as a hideout of sorts. We'd be tempted to get involved in some sort of political imbroglio just to stay there. It's enormous and well designed. Jeff Lewis would approve.

Every Defense Lawyer Should Be As Lucky as Curtis Armstrong
We're always happy to see Revenge of the Nerds star Curtis Armstrong working, even if it is as an attorney who just has to stand there and do nothing while Olivia and her minions pull all the strings behind the magic curtain.

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