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The Telefile
<I>Scandal</I>: Most Scandalous Moments of the Week

"Dirty Little Secrets" certainly lived up to its name, given the hookers and presidential infidelity going on. Here were the juiciest "secrets" from last night's episode of Scandal:

Abby Hates Hookers and the Men Who Hire Them
Abby spent the episode shooting disparaging remarks in the direction of Stephen, mostly because he frequently used the services of some high-end D.C. call girls (prior to his recent engagement). When she wasn't doing that, she was picking on the hookers themselves: "Ginger Bell... it's like her parents didn't want her to go to college. Like they wanted her to be a hooker." It's a tough economy, Abby, so lay off on the girls who need a job.

Teenagers Can Be Judgmental When They Find Out Their Mom's a Madam
Sharon Marquette (this week's client du jour) talked about how she was a single mom and supported her kid with her illegal prostitution business, but was devastated when her daughter found out what she did and didn't talk to her for ten years. The girl should just be happy that her mom wasn't trying to Gypsy Rose Lee her into the family business.

David Hates Pleasantries of Any Kind
We'll take more of Josh Malina in any way, particularly if it means his brisk entrances into Olivia's office without even saying hello, usually with a subpoena in his hand. He's got no time for that, since he's got to talk about how he's a white hat crusader for the majority of his screen time.

Cyrus Is Out of the Loop and Hates Scotch
We thought that the president's right hand man knew everything, but we were wrong. Cyrus was clueless about Fitz's affairs with Olivia and Amanda. He stomped around pissed off for a while -- revoking Olivia's White House access and everything -- before making up with his boss/friend over a glass of scotch (even though he hates the stuff). Mostly, it seemed like Cyrus was miffed that Fitz liked Olivia better than him.

Quinn Sucks at Babysitting
Given the task of keeping an eye on Amanda Tanner, Quinn loses her nearly immediately. We would not trust this woman with our goldfish.

Future Supreme Court Justices Might Want to Run Background Checks on Their Wives
Judge Keating nearly lost his Supreme Court nomination because he was on Sharon Marquette's client list. The straight-as-an-arrow guy flipped out about this... until he discovered that his wife paid for him to go to law school with her risqué night job. She might have wanted to mention that somewhere along the way.

Hardwood Floors Are Not Just for Apartment Hunting
There's a whole lingo about hiring hookers that Stephen is quite well versed in. "Hardwood floors" refers to a certain waxed area, "Sunny days" means you don't need a raincoat. It's all very quaint... and gross.

Lots of Powerful Men like Prostitutes
When a rumor of the list going public spreads to the guys on said list (thanks to Olivia and her team), all of the very rich, political, well-connected men band together in order to keep it tucked far, far away. See, this is why it pays to be a high-class madam as Sharon got away practically scot-free.

Brendan Hines Is Always Annoying
"Always" may be overstating it, but we thought that he might have been irritating just on Lie to Me. It turns out that it really is his one acting "skill" as he's just as grating as a snooping and stubborn reporter on this show.

Fitz Is Still Obsessed With Olivia
The president's wife may be begging to get Olivia back in the office to fix things, but we're not sure she'd want that if she knew that Fitz was professing his love to Liv whenever he had a chance. Their tender hand-touching was quite the sweet, harmless infidelity, but we still don't think Mellie would approve.

If You Want Privacy, the Lincoln Memorial Is The Place to Go
Quinn, in all her ineptitude, decides that instead of meeting up with a desperate Amanda someplace private, she'll go to the steps of a national landmark. Because that makes sense. No wonder Gideon was able to track her back to Olivia's office. She might as well have had a giant flashing neon sign that said, "Presidential intern scandal here."

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