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Modern Family: The Best Lines of the Week

Ah yes, the holiday episode that airs over a week after the holiday itself -- one of the reasons why "New Year's Eve" fell flat for me (and why we're kind of dreading Community this season). Much as I liked the pairings and some of the dialogue, this is just another contrived episode of Modern Family we can cite when we talk later about how a different show should have won the 2013 Emmy for Best Comedy.

Oh well. Let's at least laugh at the funny parts, right?

"I know how awesome college is -- that's what got me kicked out."
Uncharacteristically poor line-reading on Sarah Hyland's part, but still a funny line, especially when compared to the Lily dialogue that followed. I also liked at the gag at the end with Alex accidentally drinking Haley's spiked piƱa colada.

"Oh my god, that's me in 20 years!"
"Okay, you be her, and I'll be whoever left her."

You know what, if this was the one mean thing Mitch says to Cam all night, then sure, that's funny and realistic. Yay!

"We should start calling her 'Ranch House' 'cause she doesn't have a second story."
I loved that this from Cam was followed up with self-congratulating rather than eye-rolling. I also later enjoyed the "three bears" that the duo saw on their way to the bar. This storyline could be one of those moments that reveals Modern Family exploiting gay culture for the sake of appearing "tolerant" in order to make jokes at the expense of an entire lifestyle, kind of like I've written about before. I don't know though, I think in this case it was pretty harmless... except when Billy D thought Phil was Jay's "gay son," which felt like overkill. And would it have killed the show to actually show Cam and Mitch kiss at midnight?

"You sure you don't want to play The Hunger Games with all of us?"
"My whole life is a Hunger Game. Why do you think I'm so mean to you?"

Obnoxiously topical? Maybe. Still cute, though. I liked the Luke storyline, except for literally any moment that involved Manny and his weird gross friend zoning plot.

"So, was it worth my meltdown?"
"It always is."

Claire stole the episode for me in her very believable sexual frustration storyline, though props must go to Phil for describing his Chicken Kiev as tasting "like Russia."

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