Walt's carefully constructed, meth-funded house of cards/dominos/feathers continued to fall on last night's Breaking Bad. Here are our picks for the eight most memorable things about the seventh of the final eight episodes, "Buried."
8. Driving in RC Cars with Boys
There's something so wonderfully innocent about the sight of that young kid piloting his zippy yellow radio-controlled car around Hank and Marie's cul-de-sac while, unbeknownst to him, all hell is breaking loose in the Schraders' garage. The world has been completely turned upside down for Walter and Hank, but the only obstacle the kid has faced in the maybe five minutes between Hank closing the garage door and then opening it again to spit Walt back out into daylight is not crashing his sweet pint-sized ride into any parked cars. Just another reminder that, while Walt's existence is in the process of ending, life is still gonna go on unchanged for the 50 percent of the New Mexico population not involved in the meth trade.
7. Fools Rush In
Handed the plum opportunity to win a wavering Skyler over to his camp, Hank screws the pooch by too quickly turning their meeting into an impromptu interrogation. He smartly begins the encounter in full brother-in-law mode, saying all the right things in a sympathetic and caring voice. But then the cop side takes over, compelling him to whip out his digital recorder in case she feels like making a "statement." And in that instant -- and you can see it in Skyler's eyes -- he's lost her. That's why it's generally a good idea to save the recording devices for the second date.
6. Make Your Bed and Lie in It
Confronted with the awe-inspiring sight of Walt's fortune stacked oh-so-neatly in that storage locker, Huell can't resist acting out a less physical version of Demi Moore's bed-full-of-money ballet from Indecent Proposal and having a little lie down on top of his client's greenbacks. "Quite screwing around," Kuby half-assedly orders… before testing the springs himself. The upside of a money mattress? No bed bugs.
5. Couples' Therapy
Hank and Marie's marriage has had its ups and downs during the course of the series, but newly united in the face of a common foe -- namely, Walt and Skylar -- they're stronger now than ever before. Just look at that two-shot of them in the car following Marie's ill-advised attempt to forcibly adopt Holly -- that's a couple determined to stick together if for no other reason than to put another couple behind bars. And speaking of Skyler and Walt, they seem to finally be on the same page again as well. Following her hubby's late-night bathroom collapse, Mrs. White covers him with a blanket and gently wakes him up when morning breaks, making it clear that he's picking him over Hank… at least for now. For the sake of their relationships, these two couples should have squared off against each other more often -- they're stronger couples as enemies than they ever were as friends.
4. Hanes. For When You Absolutely Have to Faint on the Bathroom Floor
This is the second episode in a row where Bryan Cranston has been obligated to strip down to his tighty whities, a sight originally made famous in the pilot. Either the show has a new men's undergarments sponsor or Vince Gilligan plans to make this a running gag for the final season, with Walt dropping trou in various places. Either way, we're starting our official Tighty Whitie Watch right here and now.
3. Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Can Kill
Remember how Season 3 of Friday Night Lights basically ignored everything that happened during Season 2? (Nice not knowing you, Santiago!) Well, "Buried" provided us with a plausible alternate timeline for Landry had the second season remained in continuity. To wit: After killing Tyra's would-be rapist, West Dillon's resident dork hightailed it for New Mexico, where he renamed himself Todd and got a job as a pest exterminator before being hired to participate in a daring and highly implausible train robbery. But his latent bloodlust resurfaces, causing him to shoot an innocent young kid. From there, it's an easy jump to cooking Heisenberg-brand Blue Sky meth and participating in mass drug ring executions under the direction of new boss, Lydia. Yeah… that sounds like a much more plausible future for Landry than making a game-winning field goal.
2. The Last Movie You'd Want to Watch
Hey, didja remember that Aaron Paul played one of the psychos in the 2009 remake of Last House on the Left? For that matter, didja remember that they even made a remake of Last House on the Left? Well, they did and AMC is "premiering" it this week, being sure to heavily hype Paul's minor role in all the ads as if he's the star of the movie. Or you could just rent Smashed, where he actually is one of the stars and which isn't a piece of crap.
1. The Sounds of Jesse's Silence
Speaking of Aaron Paul, we had to watch the episode twice (no hardship, mind you) until we realized that Jesse didn't say a damn thing throughout the hour-and-four-minute runtime. Not one single darn word. And yet that face -- weary, resigned and extinguished of all hope -- spoke volumes. And at this point, what else does Jesse have to say, really? Although we're hoping for at least one more token "_____ bitch!" catchphrase before the show ends.
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