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<I>New Girl</i>: Bachelorette Party Do’s and Don’ts

This episode was pretty entertaining (we always love some Fat Schmidt), but it seemed a little out of order again, like maybe that funeral episode aired when it wasn't supposed to because we jumped back to Nick playing the dead dad card when he didn't even mention his father in "First Date" at all. But we loved the orange jumpsuit, and Shivrang's Jane Lynch/Sue Sylvester reference, so we'll give it a "dead dad" pass.

Reasons Cece Clearly Shouldn't Get Married Yet
- She didn't know how to pronounce her fiancée's name.
- Her best friend didn't know she was getting married in less than a month until the invitation arrived in the mail.
- When she was young, she fantasized more about her bachelorette party than her wedding.
- The look on her face after Schmidt when he said he didn't need a plus one.
- The fact that she hasn't seen Shrivrang's penis, and his idea of talking about sex is winking and making an popping noise.
- She's entirely uncomfortable around his aunt and grandmother.

The Challenge
Not the MTV one, but for Schmidt to get in a serious relationship in less than three weeks in order to get a plus-one to Cece's wedding. We'd say it was an impossible task, but this is the man that "once figured out Alyssa Milano's number by randomly pressing buttons." That's sheer determination, right there.

Bachelorette Party Amusements
- Sexually aggressive message on the mirror
- Pin the dong on Shivrang game
- Alfredo the Ice Cream Man (who ends up crying in the elevator)
- Drunken, sexy Cece slideshow.

Pregnant Sadie
Love when Jess's lesbian doctor friend visits, and here she was enormously pregnant and just sniffing at all of Cece's model friends and offering up free examinations. Her horniness was the bachelorette party highlight.

Jess Got to See Nick's Penis
Not in the way we'd necessarily expect since the two have no physical contact in this episode (though their kissing is briefly mentioned ). But when Jess tasks Nick and Winston with photographing Shivrang's junk, a photo of Nick's ends up on her phone. The sheer look of curious delight on Jess's face when she discovered it was his and reached to her phone to get a better peek was perfect.

Uses of the Dead Dad Pass
- To wear an orange jumpsuit.
- To tap dance terribly.
- To wash feet in the sink.
- To call Shivrang "Shavvy."

Why Winston is Terrible at Kidnapping
He wants to roughhouse Shivrange and "leave him in the desert until he doesn't breathe anymore." Then he tries to attack him with a baseball bat and makes idle threats like, "You shut that pretty mouth of yours, Romeo, before I fill it with fire." And he sets an actual fire in the bathroom garbage pail. We'd say that someone should reign him in, but what would be the fun in that?

Big Guy and Elizabeth
We were so delighted to see that Schmidt had a four-year relationship back when he was heavy. And Elizabeth was played by the adorable Merritt Weaver, who thinks that before he started living on basil leaves like "an idiot panda bear" and going to booty bootcamp to inspire those around him, he was Big Guy and loved giving footrubs. Anyone who wants to call Schmidt out on his obnoxious behavior ("I can't take you seriously when you're wearing such tight pants.") is fine by us (hell, we'll buy her a douchebag jar). And we loved the look on Schmidt's face when he was indulging in pizza -- "So greasy!); it just had an adorable youthful exuberance.

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