Hey, remember those ads for Gossip Girl's first season that showed the teenage cast members totally getting it on? Well, the CW is stepping it up for the next season -- not only will the underage girls look even more orgasmic, but the previous campaign's "OMFG" tagline will be replaced by quotes from the press about the show... just not the glowing, sex-centric quotes you might expect.
Ooh, how does this taste, Top Chef? CBS has managed to out-product-placement the most product placement-y reality show of our time with a new show called Jingles. Hosted by American Idol season 2 cast-off Kimberly Caldwell (yeah, I know), the Mark Burnett-produced series will see aspiring songwriters competing by writing and singing commercial jingles for a variety of products -- take that, Top Chef Glad Wrap pantry! Leave this to the professionals!
Or webisodes... I'm not picky I'll take either. Between the strike and the normal summer hiatus, we've been chomping at the bit to see any little glimpse of our favorite shows. The Office, Heroes and Rescue Me have responded by giving us minisodes and webisodes to hold us over and keep our interest until they finally return. Here's our list of other shows currently on hiatus that should do the same... and stat.
Today the first Heroes Webisode premiered on NBC's website, and it's about a mailman. Excited yet? Well, what if I told you that this mailman could yell really loud -- so loud that dogs don't want to mess with him and shadowy government organizations do want to mess with him? And that said organization dispatches some sort of snake man, who looks like the Conundrum from The X-Files if he had all of his tattoos removed, along with most of his skin's pigmentation? Now you're interested.
Everyone knows that uglifying yourself for a movie role is pretty much a guaranteed one way ticket to Academy Award-ville (Nicole Kidman in The Hours, Charlize Theron in Monster, George Clooney in Syriana) or at the very least a butt-load of critical acclaim (Renee Zellweger in Bridget Jones' Diary). Now it seems I'm Fucking Matt Damon is taking a page from the busted actors hand-book for a turn in the forthcoming Steven Soderbergh film The Informant. Peep that pot-belly and ruddy, sunburnt complexion! Why he looks the spitting image of my fifth grade English teacher!
Finally, another reason to go to Amsterdam! You know, besides the culture. Cinema Expo is happening this week in the Dutch city of sin, and the studios are unraveling their 2008-2009 slates for an international crowd. Here's what's been lighting up the message boards:
Since VH1 has apparently decided that that 2009 doesn't really count as part of this millennium, we decided we'd jump on the bandwagon and announce our picks for the worst shows that the past nine years have foisted upon us. Now, we're talking about the scripted shows that are out there, since the reality show list was just too long and had way too many easy targets, from someone licking New York's toes, to a dating show that featured guys with masks, to having Jonny Fairplay take a dump on someone's bed. So Nick Carter, Amy Grant and Britney and Kevin, you are safe from our wrath...at least until we get around to doing the TWoP 10 worst reality shows of all time. Here's our list of the crappiest shows that someone actually tried to write and some network executive was crazy enough to greenlight.
Beware, Superman -- Smallville is doomed! Okay, that's been pretty self-evident since the third season, but this time it's for real! Remember back when Superman died? In the comics? Made a lot of newspapers? No? That's okay, it only lasted, like, a year. Anyway, the guy who killed him was a huge, ugly alien named Doomsday, and it looks like he's about to pull a repeat performance on Smallville as Doomsday...Bartender of DOOOOOMMMM!!!!
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