The network upfronts are upon us.
The upcoming Don't Trust the B---- in Apartment 23 is built upon the premise that people would deal with a crappy bitch of a roommate in order to live in a really great place. And you know what? We know the feeling. For the privilege of living in the following current and classic TV rental units, we'd pretty much cut off our right arms, or at least put up with someone who leaves wet towels all over the place or forgets to take out the trash.
Scripted television is currently filled with many evil, greedy and downright incompetent politicians. In the spirit of President's Day (and, of course, our real-life election year), we take a look at the legislators for whom we have the least amount of respect, if not downright hatred. Some of them are villains that we're supposed to despise, while others are just plain annoying. We demand a recall of all of them.
Is your family driving you crazy this holiday season? In a time of high stress, it's important to take a moment and reflect on that fact that you're not stuck in one of the many horrible families from the current world of scripted TV. We're not talking about pain-in-the-butt relatives like those on Modern Family or Parenthood -- at least those crazies mean well. The following clans, on the other hand, make dysfunction seem luxurious -- just imagine what it would be like to call these characters your kin.
The sweeping fairytale romance between Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries officially ended last Monday, and we're heartbroken because it seemed like they were in it for the long haul. We're kidding, of course -- like most sane onlookers, we assumed the two were in a sham relationship orchestrated to generate media coverage and further her fame. But as cacophonous as the frenzy over their nuptials (and now split) was, we thought we could at least escape it by losing ourselves in our favorite scripted shows -- except for the fact that TV is filled with its share of equally unbelievable pairings. Here are the ones we really can't believe in:
We've been hooked on Revenge since the pilot episode, loving the amazing different ways that Emily/Amanda (with a little help from Nolan) takes down rich, corrupt Hamptonites each week. But eventually, she's going to run out of people who have personally wronged her and is going to have nothing to do with her time and money. When that day comes, we'd like to see her continue enacting vigilante justice against these other wealthy TV characters.
When Ringer debuted earlier this week, it was clear that the show doesn't exactly fit The CW brand, mostly it's targeted at grown-up viewers and features some actual grown-up actors, with only one spoiled rotten teen in sight. It also lacked several other key elements that we've come to expect from The CW. Fortunately for the network, their other scripted series debuting this week, The Secret Circle, is pretty much the most CW-ish show we've ever seen. Here's why:
The curtains are finally closing on Wisteria Lane.
Television is no place for children. Between Teen Mom, Toddlers & Tiaras and Dance Moms, we cringe for those poor kids who are clearly growing up in dysfunctional homes. But as bad as it is to be forced into pageantry or to have Amber Portwood as your mother, at least reality kids don't have it quite has awful as many of the tykes on scripted series. Here are the ones that really need to have a fictional Child Protective Services intervene on their behalf:
With another Fourth of July upon us, it's time to celebrate our freedom, and for us TV junkies, that means freedom from crappy shows and, more specifically, certain awful characters. Some of these people were on blissfully canceled shows, while others were recently ousted from halfway decent programs. Let's toast our independence from these most dreadful creations:
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