The CW recently announced that we'll be treated an all-star season of America's Next Top Model next fall. That's right, they're bringing all the really crazy bitches back. Well, contestant-wise, anyway -- we sadly doubt that Janice or Paulina will be included in the festivities. Anyway, this is a fantastic idea, although some of the enjoyable personalities from earlier seasons might be a bit long in the tooth to viably compete for the completely useless title of "All-Star Top Model" (the show started in 2003, after all). Here's our wish-list of who we hope they'll cast:
Adrianne Curry - Cycle 1:
While she's a senior citizen by modeling standards, we'd like the original winner to stop banking on Brady Bunch bucks and get back in the modeling biz. And because someone will probably punch her for talking so much about her famous-ish husband.
Elyse Sewell - Cycle 1:
We're curious to see if she's super-thin, but also curious to hear her take down other people in the confessional. We miss people that pull absolutely no punches and who rail against people who pray.
Ann Markley - Cycle 3:
Look, she destroyed brownies with a knife in order to prove a point. If she's willing to destroy delicious brownies, who knows what else she might do?
Tiffany Richardson - Cycle 4:
She's the only person more obsessed with her weave than Tyra, and the outspoken gal was one of the few nervy contestants to ever tell Miss Banks that she was unhappy with her ouster, causing Tyra to lose her shit. We can only hope and pray that we'll get to see Tiff vs. Tyra, round 2.
Lisa D'Amato - Cycle 5:
Where else are you going to find a contestant willing to pee in an adult diaper?
Jade Rodan - Cycle 6:
Our made-up vocabulary has been lacking since she's been gone. Even Tyra can't compete. We really need her to "dwelve" into this season.
Isis King - Cycle 11:
She was the show's first transgender contestant and got ousted because she had some trouble tucking underwater. Maybe she can go to RuPaul's Drag U before the season starts.
Marjorie Conrad - Cycle 11:
She was part of the group va-jay-jay shaving bath, and she also turned into a drunken lush when she ended up drinking in Holland. She'll be the life of the party.
Natalie Parker - Cycle 12:
It takes a strong girl to turn the others into her personal slaves. We can only imagine how Tiffany would take to that.
Laura Kirkpatrick - Cycle 13:
From the season of the shorty, she was just adorable and sweet and we'd love to see her rock it, not to mention listen to her charming Southern accent some more. And, unlike the winner of her season, she doesn't have a bloody eyeball.
Angelea Preston - Cycle 14:
The girl slept in the Port Authority bus terminal, for goodness sakes. She wants this. For that alone she should get yet another chance. And because we need some more hot Buffalo dance moves to add to our repertoire.
Naduah Rugley - Cycle 14:
If for no other reason than to get her away from the odd cult she was born into. She really needs saving.
Alexandra Underwood - Cycle 14:
To see if lightning -- or pendulums -- can strike twice for this fiercely real girl.
Alexandria Everett - Cycle 16
: She's a stone cold bitch, and you really can't have a Top Model all-star season without one.
Who would you like to see back? Sound off below.
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