What's there to say about The Glee Project? It's just so bad it's good, and it's brought us so much happiness because of that. A bunch of egotistic theater kids testing the patience of singing coaches and choreographers, all trying to stand out by putting on secondhand embarrassment-inducing performances...It's winning, it really is. Remember when Matheus took his shirt off? Or when Ellis had her first kiss? We really have come quite a ways since those first few weeks -- and it shows; the aforementioned secondhand embarrassment is now at a minimum. Which is why last night's elimination got us thinking: One of these kids really is going to be on Glee next season. For seven episodes! They'll have songs on iTunes and tweet pictures with the cast and maybe even become someone's love interest. So what roles will they take on? Well, we're sure you're shocked -- but we've got some suggestions.
Lindsay joins McKinley as a freshman and would act as a rival to Rachel and basically signal the end of the Berry era: She has two gay moms and wears cuter animal sweaters, and the guys like her more because she always kisses them at the end of songs, just because. After weeks of passive aggressively one-upping each other, the two finally voice-battle it out to some huge Broadway number. It becomes clear that no matter how much everyone hates Rachel, no one can sing like her. Lindsay runs out crying, finally having been served the humble pie she so desperately needed.
One day, Mercedes gets home from school to find her mother sitting on the couch with Alex. "Mercedes," she says, "this is your long-lost twin brother, Alex." It turns out Mercedes' mom had twins -- when they separated, dad took Alex, and mom took Mercedes. Just like The Parent Trap. "I'm your twi-i-i-in," Alex belts, and he and Mercedes become diva siblings extraordinaire -- they promptly break off from New Directions, drop out of McKinley, and start a career as a singing duo called "The Jones Sis-tuhs." On tour, they sing songs like "All That Jazz," "Don't Rain on My Parade," and "Take Me Or Leave Me," and just generally be so much bigger and better than New Directions ever could.
We're pretty sure Sam can play crazy: He's got those dreadlocks, which make him look dirtier than all of the other contestants, and his dance moves give off a kind of creepy vibe. He can also play up his sexuality -- after all, he had chemistry with Marissa, and for all of his complaining, he did end up selling his "pairability" with Alex. So he's weird and sexual. Who is that perfect for? Terri! We want Terri back desperately -- but not involved in useless Sue Sylvester shenanigans -- so how great would it be if she started dating Sam (a student at McKinley) instead? We'd have a fun, random little storyline instead of the usual boring ones. Sam and Terri can just revel in their loco-ness together and sing a lot of Madonna, and it would be campy and a bit off, just like Glee used to be.
Blaine needs a reason to join New Directions -- let's face it, he's a regular now, he'll join eventually -- so we're thinking Damian is the perfect excuse. Dubbed Patrick O'Brien (or an equally classic Irish name), Damian's character is a gay exchange student at Dalton. He joins the Warblers and becomes interested in Blaine, whom he would wink at continuously (and in a seemingly uncontrollable manner) throughout the day. Patrick shows up at Blaine's house in the middle of the night and rain dances outside his window. It creeps Blaine out so much that he has to pull a Kurt and leave school for harassment. And voila! Welcome to McKinley, Blaine.
Do you have any dream storylines? Hit the comments with them if ya do. And check out which members of the Glee cast would survive the Project.
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