When Bridalplasty, the new E! reality show where women will weaponize their self-loathing and battle each other to win plastic surgery procedures in time for their wedding was announced a couple months ago, we figured it was OK to laugh at it because it wasn't a reality yet. It was just an insane idea that sounded like something out of Idiocracy, and that soon E! would realize how much crap Fox caught for The Swan and maybe decide it wasn't worth it and scrap the whole ridiculous thing. But then a teaser trailer hit the internet today, and this thing got real.
Last night, the hotly dreaded Bridalplasty was unleashed unto the world, and, as expected, it was sadder and more disgusting than an Animal Hoarders episode. It's a show in which ladies with destitute self-esteem levels get into their bikini bottoms and let a plastic surgeon point out all the "flaws" that cover 90 percent of their bodies with a marker on television, and E! doesn't even bother to blur their nipples properly. That is how little E! cares for them! I mean really. At least try to conceal your exploitation of these women with some pixelation, for the love of God!
"We've got to go back to the island, J.J.! We've got to go baaack!"