Not satisfied to exploit every inch of his own being and empire, Donald Trump has resorted to pimping out his daughter Ivanka for a new reality dating show called Date My Daughter. To quote the press release/casting call: "'Date My Daughter,' starring Donald Trump and his daughter Ivanka, features dads helping their daughters find true love, with daddy's approval [Ed's note: PUKE! Any grown woman who calls her father "daddy" needs to quit it. NOW.] Casting producers are looking for socialites [Eds' note: Again, puke.] between the ages of 21-30 years old who are attractive, possess a great attitude and a generous spirit. The dads should be affluent and interested in helping their daughters find true love." Here's a thought. Maybe these "affluent dads" should mind their own damned business and/or explore why they take such an abiding interest in their daughters' dating practices. In therapy.
Yes, if you were into taking all the joy out of everything, it'd be pretty easy to spoil all of the (non)action that takes place on the upcoming season of The Hills merely by paying marginal attention to the tabloids. Because god knows not a week goes by that we aren't informed of Speidi's latest exploits or LC's latest frenemy. The truth is that this is a show on which nothing much really ever happens. But that's why the show so successfully captures the zeitgeist: the beauty lies not in the substance of what happens or doesn't happen, but in the style in which the nothing-happening is couched.
The answer to that question should be a resounding no. If the question was "Can you feel the desperation of nine guys who really want to be rich and famous without having actually any skill aside from kissing ass?" then the answer would be yes. The "star" of this "show" is Brody Jenner, who is pretty much famous for having a famous dad and using that to leverage his way into reality TV "stardom." Though his official bio on the MTV site would have you think differently: "Nominated for a 2008 Teen Choice Award for his role on The Hills, Brody Jenner is more than just a handsome face; he's a talented entertainer, a budding entrepreneur and a lover of all things luxurious." OK then.
Are you a king-sized douchebag? Congratulations! You will eventually be given your very own show! The Hollywood Reporter broke the news that Brody Jenner -- whose sole accomplishment up to this point has been successfully riding the coattails of his 1) dad 2) quasi-ex-girlfriend and 3) step-sisters -- will be starring in a new MTV competish-cum-reality show called Bromance, which, based on descriptions, sounds like a hybrid of Entourage and A Shot At Love with Tila Tequila. Contestants will face challenges and compete to become a part of Brody's totally rad posse. At the end of each show, there will be a Hot Tub Elimination Ceremony. I wish I were making this up. As the show's name might suggest, there is some seriously homo-erotic subtext going on, but I'm sensing, based on the major fuckwad vibes that effectively emanate from the Brodster's person, that it's of the Cat On A Hot Tin Roof/wrestling/frat boy variety. That is, latent and volatile and mean-spirited and potentially violent. Think forcing potential "bros" to drink pee and taping their asscheeks together. Brody, sweetie, did you learn nothing from the colossal failure that was Princes of Malibu? Let me spell it out for ya: We don't give a shit. Go away. Kthxbye!