A ratings-machine Real Housewives series may lack a certain criminal factor next season, as the devious Danielle Staub may not be back to wreak havoc on New Jersey (well, at least not on-air). But there's better news for people with a grasp on reality in today's news...
In a terrifying display, The Bachelor's Jake Pavelka, The Hills' Heidi Montag and The Real Housewives of New Jersey's Danielle Staub were spotted filming a reality show of some kind together recently. Even if this project never finds a network and nothing comes of it, the way the media has run with the photos of them together is no doubt just going to encourage other famewhores to try to join forces for similarly unholy super shows. I'd watch almost any of them that came into fruition, but I'd enthusiastically watch these match-ups in particular.
It's the week of Jersey Shore and yet those morons weren't the worst people on TV... yet. Let's give them time, shall we? In the meantime, see who did make the cut.
Despite a surprisingly (and perhaps less than sincerely) conciliatory end to the otherwise contentious two-part RHONJ reunion, Bravo confirmed last night that Danielle Staub will not be returning to the show for its third season. "The reunion was Danielle's last appearance," Andy Cohen told BravoTV.com. "We thought the hugs were a great way to end two seasons of bitterness between the women."
While that's no doubt a relief to the rest of the cast, as viewers, we're worried that without Danielle, the show will be boring. Heck, we're still reeling because we lost Dina this season. Without Danielle, that just leaves us with Caroline, Teresa and Jacqueline. That's a pretty slim and motley crew, and the drama level might be practically non-existent. We don't watch these shows to see people have family dinners together. We watch for the table-flipping and to see the claws come out. Without Danielle, the Manzo/Guidice families actually seem to get along, so the action will just be all about them spending money and dealing with their self-inflicted phony problems. Who needs that? Not us. Here are the reasons we think a season without Danielle will bore us to tears:
I'm going to be honest here: I spent most of the first episode of this show transfixed by Heidi Montag's boobs in her pink shirt. Not in a pervy way, but because I was trying to figure out if she was wearing a strangely textured bra, was sitting at an odd angle or if her nipples actually point in two separate directions. When that is the most fascinating part of a series that has some of reality's most biggest nightmares, it's probably a bad omen.
The Real Housewives of New Jersey's Danielle Staub might run for Congress, everybody! That is such a good idea! Though it is kind of bittersweet, because it looks like all her dirt has already been dug up. So backwards -- that's supposed to happen once you're already in office, lady! But no matter. She's going to be a fantastic representative of fine politics for me to poop on. Let's take a gander at all the urgent things she will promise to take care of for the citizens of New Jersey when she runs.
It's another one of those sad days. On the plus side, I can be the one billionth blogger today to say "heaven just got another angel" with zero irony.