It seemed a given that Danny Gokey was going to torture us with his boring stylings, ever-present glasses and heart gestures right up until the bitter end of American Idol, but the American public didn't agree and sent him packing last week. During a press conference call, Gokey talked incessantly about wanting to design a line of eyeglasses, or be a glasses model, and also about his charity and being inspiring and all that crap. That was all really boring though. Here are the slightly more interesting tidbits from the call.
So last night on American Idol Adam Lambert turned a popular Johnny Cash song into a faux Middle Eastern new wave snake-charming chantey, and then the internet exploded. With hatred for Adam Lambert. Which then caused me to explode with hatred for the internet, because Adam Lambert is the best thing that's ever happened to American Idol, and I'll tell you why.
Marty comes to HBO, Megan Mullally plays a mom, Ms. Moon Frye reminisces, Mister Rogers gets memorialized and Mad Men stay mad. This TWoP News is brought to you by the letter "M."
I think so. I hesitate to suggest that Paula Abdul is the mastermind of anything, even something as simple as picking out a song, but the judges' picks last night seem suspect to me. It's crazy that out of all the songs in the world to choose from, Adam got to sing a U2 anthem literally (literally!) everyone on the planet knows backwards and forwards, Kris got to sing one of last year's biggest, most widely played hits, and Gokey got stuck with "Dance Little Sister" by Terence Trent D'Arby -- a forgettable song I've honestly never even heard of. Maybe it's the biggest song in the history of music, I don't know. I do know that I'm a huge music fan and a devout follower of all things pop and I had never heard it before.
Thanks to this new and convoluted Idol format we've found out who the first three people in the Top 12 will be, though in all likelihood we'll forget their names by the time they come back a month from now. The lucky threesome consists of Danny Gokey, Alexis Grace and Michael Sarver, all of whom were put through the rigors of a press conference call on Thursday. But not, we suspect, before some intense media training that wisely must have instructed them not to bad mouth Tatiana, or any of their other group members, lest they end up returning in the wild card round. Plus, it's not good if you are trying to get America to love you. Which Alexis Grace is certainly trying to do with her up with the people answer to the inquiry about who deserved a second chance: "That is a tough question because everybody was good in our group. I mean I would have said that could be top 12 right there." They also weren't entirely sure what was happening between now and the time that we'll see them again, and were all equally vague, but as Michael Sarver put it, "There are opinions floating around about how things should go, but they have not made it clear exactly what's next for us. So, we just kind of take it one step at a time and say, 'Yes, sir. No, sir. Yes, ma'am. No, ma'am' and go there."
It might be a longshot, but if Idol has taught me anything over the past few weeks, it is never, ever underestimate Tatiana Del Toro. Last night scared the hell out of me, not just because she cleaned up the crazy and yet managed to come off even crazier than when she's overtly crazy, somehow, but also because she was really, really good. At singing. I mean, I knew she was alright at singing, but sweet jeebus, in comparison to the other performances she was like the second coming of Whitney or something. And while Dial Idol is optimistically trending that Danny Gokey and Alexis Grace will take the top guy and girl spots, with likely Anoop Desai (my favorite!) taking the third spot, I'm still refusing to get my hopes up, for the following reasons.