Not satisfied to exploit every inch of his own being and empire, Donald Trump has resorted to pimping out his daughter Ivanka for a new reality dating show called Date My Daughter. To quote the press release/casting call: "'Date My Daughter,' starring Donald Trump and his daughter Ivanka, features dads helping their daughters find true love, with daddy's approval [Ed's note: PUKE! Any grown woman who calls her father "daddy" needs to quit it. NOW.] Casting producers are looking for socialites [Eds' note: Again, puke.] between the ages of 21-30 years old who are attractive, possess a great attitude and a generous spirit. The dads should be affluent and interested in helping their daughters find true love." Here's a thought. Maybe these "affluent dads" should mind their own damned business and/or explore why they take such an abiding interest in their daughters' dating practices. In therapy.
Here's what I know about Brad Garrett: He starred on the ubiquitous Everybody [Except For Me] Loves Raymond. He is very tall. He is hairy. He has an annoying adenoidal register that makes him sound like a cartoon elephant with a sinus infection. He hates the paparazzi. Up until now I figured I could skate through life on this bare-bones knowledge. But the universe had other plans! Thanks to the fine folks at Videogum [via Variety], I now know that he's on the hunt for a wifey, he's suffering a mid-life crisis, and he is close friends with his urologist.