America just got safer.
Today, broadcasting legend Regis Philbin announced that he will retire from Live! With Regis and Kelly sometime later this year. Very sad for both fans of the show and those responsible for compiling clips for The Soup alike, but on to the new! Who will complain about diarrhea and mispronounce celebrities' names next to Kelly Ripa on Live! after Reege goes? Barring those who already have or are getting morning shows (which, sadly, excludes the best choice, Anderson Cooper), or people obligated to be out of NYC for significant portions of the year (which, even sadly-er, means no William Shatner or NPH), here are our bids:
iCarly's high ratings garner another season, but One Life to Live and All My Children get cancelled after 40 years. Should any fact define the state of television programming, this might be it...
Just because we try to ignore celebrities doesn't mean they'll go away. In fact, they get their own reality shows when they're at their least popular. Look at MC Hammer, for God's sake.
Actual comedies, attempted comedies... there's a lot of both in today's TV on DVD releases, as well as some critically-acclaimed imports from across the pond.
Why on earth would I watch The Biggest Loser any more?
"Golden Globe nominee Piper Perabo." Let that soak in.
Well, he's been talking about it for years, but it's finally happening... Simon Cowell is leaving American Idol, which means that after the current season (which begins tonight), not one, but two of the original judges will be gone. Paula Abdul's seat has been filled by Ellen DeGeneres (how she'll fare remains to be seen), but the show has always revolved around Simon's cutting remarks and candid criticisms, so replacing him will be a much larger task. We've come up with some people who might be up for the job, or at least could be entertaining to watch while we wait for The X Factor to premiere.
Guess who officially joined the cast of The Office today?
God I love the Dancing with the Stars rumor mill. In other news, I am a sad, sad person.