Both Lone Star and J.Lo's careers got lengthened a tiny bit today. Way to hustle, guys.
Oh Dick Wolf, what would a world without you look like? Where would we be without your deft interpretations of lurid tabloid dramas and celebrity dust-ups? Without that masterful way you have of weaving narratives loosely based on real events so that in our collective memory, we draw just as often from the truths you invent as the one supplied by the New York Post, US Weekly, et al? For tomorrow night's L&O season finale we get yet another ripped-from-the-headlines tale, this one owing its plot to the recent Spitzer/call-girl fiasco. It was only a matter of time, you realize. I wonder how literally the show's gonna take this puppy. The governor is played by the fully follicled Tom Everett Scott, rather than a balding Spitzer look-alike, but are we still going to have to suffer through scenes of him going to town on his special lady friend while sporting classy black dress socks? Le shudder.
Law & Order returns for its nineteenth season tonight, with a typically timely episode that will feature a stock broker being kicked to holy hell in broad daylight. I got a chance to listen in on a conference call with L&O genius Dick Wolf and my favorite District Attorney Jack McCoy ... er, Sam Waterston, and ask some probing questions about Law & Order making you fat and who Jack McCoy would be were he a Shakespearean character. Good questions, yes, but they stumped both of our otherwise very chatty interview subjects. I tell you, this call went on for hours, so I selected only the highlights, which included Dick Wolf talking ish on everything from the current TV season to Kevin Kline. Do not mess with Dick Wolf, people. Chunk-chunk.
When news broke in May that Katee Sackhoff would be following BSG with a fun (and knowing that show, downright filthy!) guest stint on Nip/Tuck, I could hardly contain my excitement. Since then, thoughts like, "Starbuck as a love interest for Sean? Yes!" "Ooh, I bet Christian'll try to steal her!" "Julia's going to be so jealous! I don't even care that she's a lesbian now!" and so on and so forth have been whirring around in my head almost non-stop. Sadly, that all came to an end today when my Starbuck-guesting-on-Nip/Tuck dreams were dashed against the rocks, and everything about it got really annoying.
Holy jeez! The Fly is gonna be on Law & Order Criminal Intent you say? He is gonna be replacing Chris Noth, who will be departing after this season wraps you say? Well I just don't know what to think! I mean, Goldblum is a foxy Cleopatra and all, and as we saw on his short-lived NBC show Raines, he can deffies handle a role as a quirk-tastic police detective. But no more Noth is like no more Jerry Orbach: Just plain wrong. The upside of this new development is that we can most assuredly expect a spectacular Dick Wolf-ian send-off for good old Mike Logan. No budget cut-backs or polite pink slips for this guy. Not even a shot-in-the-line-of-duty plot twist is his equal. I'm thinking a car bomb with wicked pyrotechnics or a hostage situation gone bad or, hell, maybe a botched plastic surgery that he was getting for an "undercover" thingy he claimed he was doing. But something cray cray. I will accept no less.