Because we need a celebrity version of everything, ABC has ordered Celebrity Wife Swap, wherein celebrities from opposing walks of life will switch spouses for a week in the same chaste extended key party format as the regular people edition -- but better! Rumor has it the show is gunning for SNL alum and noted homophobe Victoria Jackson for an episode, so I think it's safe to say they're really reaching for the crazy stars here. And since I live to help the networks with these kinds of things, here are some fun swap ideas I know I for one would watch the hell out of.

Tags: ABC, Celebrity Wife Swap, Donald Trump, Elisabeth Hasselbeck, Ellen DeGeneres, Harry Hamlin, Heidi Montag, James Carville, Jim Bob Duggar, Kathlee Gifford, Katy Perry, Kendra Wilkinson, Khloe Kardashian, Kody Brown, Lamar Odom, Lisa Rinna, Mariah Carey, Matt Roloff, Michelle Duggar, Nick Cannon, Ozzy Osbourne, Portia De Rossi, Randy Quaid, Rob Mariano, Russell Brand, Sarah Palin, Sharon Osbourne, Spencer Pratt, Teresa Giudice, The Fabulous Beekman Boys

Today was just another day of ignoring Alec Baldwin as he lies through his teeth.

Tags: 30 Rock, Alec Baldwin, Big Brother, Black Dynamite, Catherine Tate, Charlie Sheen, Glenn Beck, Heidi Montag, Scare Tactics, The Office, Tracy Morgan

In a terrifying display, The Bachelor's Jake Pavelka, The Hills' Heidi Montag and The Real Housewives of New Jersey's Danielle Staub were spotted filming a reality show of some kind together recently. Even if this project never finds a network and nothing comes of it, the way the media has run with the photos of them together is no doubt just going to encourage other famewhores to try to join forces for similarly unholy super shows. I'd watch almost any of them that came into fruition, but I'd enthusiastically watch these match-ups in particular.

Tags: Amber, Chris March, CT, Danielle Staub, Heidi Montag, Jake Pavelka, Janice Dickinson, Joan Rivers, Josh Duggar, Kate Gosselin, Kim Zolciak, Kody Brown, Patti Stanger, Pauly D, Sanjaya, Scott Disick, shangela, The Fabulous Beekman Boys, Wendy Williams

Today has been a strange day. Not only might there be another halfway decent ABC Family show, but the very fabric of reality TV might be starting to unfurl.

Tags: HBO, Heidi Montag, Jake Pavelka, Katie Couric, Larry King, Marvel Anime, Miranda Lambert, Science Channel, Tavis Smiley

Last Thursday, we saw the elimination of two different cast members from I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here!: original supermodel Janice Dickinson and Hills star Holly Montag. Of course, the celebrities later voted to bring Holly back for one more day -- just long enough to get her into her underwear, of course -- but she was quickly sent packing again. Before Holly's one-day return, we got to sit in on a conference call with Holly and Janice, so while we weren't able to ask them about the one getting chosen over the other, we were able to ask Holly about Sanjolly, Heidi and Playboy and Janice about the granola bar incident, Jon Lovitz, her vagina and Jon Lovitz. You can't wait, can you?

Tags: Heidi Montag, Holly Montag, im a celebrity get me out of here, Janice Dickinson, Speidi, Spencer Pratt, The Hills

Congratulations, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt -- you've managed to get yet another article written about you. It's sad that it had to be about you pretending to break up, but congrats on getting people (and People) to report on the break-up like it was real. (And saying it was over "fake bad press"? So meta!) Hopefully, this revelation won't affect your ability to get onto a show about single girls, Heidi, or your ability to dress like a hobo, Spencer, but if you're running out of fake scandals to milk, here are some headlines we came up with that we're pretty sure the more gullible celebrity rags will go for. Use them whenever you feel the warming glow of flashbulbs fading away and the cold winter of anonymity approaching. We've even suggested handy follow-up projects!

Tags: Heidi Montag, Speidi, Spencer Pratt, The Hills

Jennifer Aniston's descending upon yet another perfectly good show, and Sookeh and Bee-ehl got married in the real life.

Tags: ABC, Anna Paquin, Betty White, Chase, Cougar Town, Creative Arts Emmys, Emmys, Evan Rachel Wood, Heidi Montag, Jennifer Aniston, Jennifer Morrison, Neil Patrick Harris, No Ordinary Family, Old Spice Guy, Speidi, Spencer Pratt, Stephen Moyer, True Blood

Lots of new today, so let's get crackin'!

Tags: Amy Ryan, Chris Jericho, Downfall, Golden Girls, Heidi Montag, In Treatment, No Ordinary Family, Rue McClanahan, Spencer Pratt, The Office