Now that 24 is over, and the proposed movie adaptation of it looks about as likely to happen as the Heroes movie does at this point, our favorite madman (though sadly not that kind of madman -- yet) Kiefer Sutherland will be taking Broadway by storm next February in a big, snooty Pulitzer Prize-winning play, complete with a star-studded(ish, but come on) cast featuring Jason Patric (Lost Boys reunion!) and Chris Noth. You know, a lot of people complain about celebrities taking Broadway roles away from the "real" actors these days, but not us, and especially not when that celebrity is Jack fricking Bauer. Here are the soon-to-be-legendary antics we are waiting to see from Kiefer: The Broadway Star.
24 ended its gloriously ridiculous, wildly entertaining, f*cking badass run with a two-hour series finale last night, and though it had some pitfalls, it's hard to deny that it was a pretty great finale. It felt more like a great season finale, sure, but to their credit they're trying to get a movie made, here. If the movie happens, this will go down as an excellent series finale, and one that's justified. If it doesn't, well... let's not think about that. Let's just review the best and worst elements of the finale as it stood last night.
Valentine's Day is just around the corner, and since we're primarily a dating site, our own resident Cupid Angel (it's not just a clever name) played matchmaker with our favorite TV characters looking for love in all the wrong places. It's like fan fiction, but shorter and with more candy hearts! Take a gander at the love fest here and comment below on all things fake love. Also, if anyone knows where I can get Jack Bauer Valentine's Day cards ("I swear to god, I will romance you! And this time, you will stay romanced!!!" -- things of that nature) for a reasonable price (yes, I have tried Target, but to no avail), I'd welcome a comment on that as well. Viva l'amour!
After spending the hours since last night's 24 mourning the tragic passing of my beloved silver fox Bill Buchanan, I got to thinking about the other 24 deaths that have made my jaw drop over the years. I'm counting Bill as the first one because it's the most recent, plus I had to limit these to major to majorish characters or we'd be here all day. While it was very sad that girlfriend Debbie drank poison tea on Day 4 and that that kid's dad got sent to nuclear bomb junction by Kumar on Day 6, deaths like that aren't on here because of my short attention span. You understand. And, one last time before we begin: R.I.P. Bill -- no one could work a mock turtleneck quite like you.
If you thought last night's White House break-in on 24 was completely ridiculous, don't worry -- it wasn't supposed to not be! That's basically what executive producer Howard Gordon said on a media call, anyway. (But honestly -- it's 24! They've always been crazy animals over there! Just go with it!) Read on for why you shouldn't look at the episode as a serious documentary on how to tunnel a hole into the White House, the potential ultimate fate of Jack Bauer, and whether or not we can expect a show-ruining Jack and Renee hookup in the near future.
The good people at Fox let us animals (well, this animal) on the red carpet at the NYC premiere of 24: Redemption last week, and gave us a couple minutes with executive producer Jon Cassar to discuss important 24 matters such as why Zombie Tony isn't a stupid idea, what Jack Bauer really thinks of those candy ass Senate sub-committees, the possibility of re-employing Kim Raver and more. Also, I did catch a glimpse of the dashing Kiefer on the red carpet while he was briefly chatting up "legitimate publications," and he is as charming and adorable in person as he is when he's on TV electrocuting folks and attacking Christmas trees. Oh, and Jon Voight's silver mane is so luminous I bet you can see it from space. Anyway, read on for the Season 7 dish!
I know that there were probably fans out there who were bothered by the fact that we never saw Jack Bauer take a potty break or stop for a snack during one of his marathon days, but did this merit actually asking Kiefer Sutherland about it? In public? In front of thousands of Comic-Con fans? Really? Is there nothing else better that could have been asked about Jack Bauer's life than this? Nothing? I hope the producers don't get ideas that we actually want to see Jack in the stall with a magazine or something.
Apparently, and don't spread this around too much, television can sway people's political opinions. No, it's true! It was true back in the day, when an unshaven Dick Nixon debated a fresh-faced JFK and came off looking like a cartoon hobo, and it's true today. At least, that's what actor Dennis Haysbert would have us believe. He thinks that playing the President of the United States on 24 for two seasons (as well as one season as a candidate and one season as a former prez) showed America how awesome it would be to have a black president, and said as much to the Associated Press. But if that's the case, why didn't Hillary Clinton benefit from any of the numerous female presidents we've seen on TV?
Umm... I don't really like to speak ill of Jack Bauer, so... I'm just not going to say anything about the 24 movie trailer except that you can watch it after the jump. Now if you'll excuse me I have to go find a way to super glue my broken 24-loving heart back together. It's been broken since 2005, so it's about time I did something about it.
24 will fast-forward four years next season for "dramatic purposes," according to a Fox spokesperson. (That's genius, by the way. From now on, every time I do something that doesn't make sense I'm just going to say I did it for "dramatic purposes." Office-mate: "Why are you talking to that photo of Smokey the Bear, Mindy?" Me: "Dramatic purposes." This will work.) Considering this show has about as much respect for temporal continuity as Jack does for Muslims (I went there!), the leap will put the story in the year 2017 and Bauer at the ripe old age of 52, according to the New York Post's carbon-dating. But don't worry, this spokesperson guy is pretty sure the writers are just going to pretend that isn't happening. "We've always built in significant passages of time between seasons of '24.' Luckily, like all great iconic characters, Jack Bauer is ageless." Translation: Shut up! We do what we want! Now I see where Jack gets it.