Today's TV news goes in like a lion and out like a JWoww.
Modern Family gets more modern with a gay wedding and and a little unimaginative with Nathan Lane not-so-surprisingly playing a flamboyant character in its next season. Even less surprising may be the combination of things we can't stand about teenagers, as MTV's R.J. Berger and Justin Bieber unwelcomingly make their way into our news for today...
Why can't high quality period piece TV shows just sort of materialize out of thin air, sort of like lolcats or CBS sitcoms?
Jennifer Aniston's descending upon yet another perfectly good show, and Sookeh and Bee-ehl got married in the real life.
Yesterday I did my fair share of bitching about the recent slew of stuntcasting news for 30 Rock's upcoming season, saying as a longtime fan I personally don't care to see an episode where Jennifer Aniston or Oprah Winfrey eats up significant screen time, but that I understand 30 Rock is in desperate need of ratings so I'll just suck it up for now. It's fair to say I owe them at least that much for all the hilarity they've given me. My resolve to give the show a break is wearing a little thin, however, with today's news that Gossip Girl's Leighton Meester and Blake Lively will be appearing in a November sweeps episode. Really? Now I have to endure those two as well? And more importantly, why those two over Chuck Bass?! He's hilarious! This begs the question -- how much worse is this going to get?
Hey, remember "The One Where a Bunch of People Were Spreading the Rumor That There Was Going to Be a Friends Movie"? Yeah, well, apparently there isn't actually going to be one. It was all a clever ruse. Stupid rumor mill!
More 30 Rock stuntcasting news: Salma Hayek will appear in two episodes next season, but that's OK, because Page Six's "sources" assure us that she'll actually be playing a character and not just pulling a Jerry Seinfeld. As if that's any consolation. There are going to be so many guest-stars next season I couldn't even name them all off the top of my head. I had to look them all up, and I'm probably even missing a few: Jennifer Aniston, Blake Lively, Leighton Meester, fricking Oprah, now Salma Hayek and God knows who else to come because you know we're not done with this yet. Tina Fey, we want to make it very clear that we love you and do not in any way doubt your genius, but no matter what NBC tells you, 30 Rock is not a variety show, and you are not Dean Martin. So stop it.
Wait wait wait wait wait. What is this? Jen Aniston on 30 Rock? Well okay. If anyone can make that work, it's Tina Fey. Look how not crappy David Schwimmer was when he guested as AWOL eco-superhero Greenzo! And if they can work that kind of magic on Ross, who is by far the most annoying/least successful/unfunniest Friends alum, then they have more than a fighting chance with Maniston, who was always the highpoint of that dumb-ass show anyhow. The only thing that has me the slightest bit concerned is that, according to published reports, Jen, Tina and Jane Krakowski are going to engage in some sort of Friends dream sequence wherein Aniston will reprise her role as Rachel, Fey will be Courtney Cox's Monica and Krakowski will step in for Lisa Kudrow's Phoebe. This is TV you guys! 30 Rock has never failed to churn out solid, knee-slapping parodies, but can't we get a little fantastical one of these days instead of trotting out the "clever" and "interesting" meta tropes that've become so ubiquitous of late? Ohhh look! It's Jerry Seinfeld playing Jerry Seinfeld! It's Tracy Morgan playing a sometimes drunk, hilariously inscrutable whackadoo who stars in a sketch comedy show! It's NBC playing a corporate monolith that's more interested in marketing microwave ovens than fostering artistic growth in its secondary incarnation as an entertainment company! We get it! It's cute! It's funny! But can you quit winking at us and give us some escapism instead of one big inside joke for once?