Well, to be honest, I had all these great things to say about the Michael Jackson memorial, but then the sight of his young daughter sobbing into a microphone just completely knocked the snark out of me. Honestly, that poor kid. My god. It's going to take me a while to get over that. But the blog must go on! And since this was the biggest televised event in the history of televised events, let's run down some of the highlights and lowlights of Hollywood's tribute to the biggest star the world has ever known.