Because we need a celebrity version of everything, ABC has ordered Celebrity Wife Swap, wherein celebrities from opposing walks of life will switch spouses for a week in the same chaste extended key party format as the regular people edition -- but better! Rumor has it the show is gunning for SNL alum and noted homophobe Victoria Jackson for an episode, so I think it's safe to say they're really reaching for the crazy stars here. And since I live to help the networks with these kinds of things, here are some fun swap ideas I know I for one would watch the hell out of.
Noooooooooooooooooo! My very favorite Armenian giantess Khloe Kardashian is going to jail! Apparently KK violated parole for a DUI from a few years back and the mean old judge threw the book at her! I hope her sentence falls in to the Nicole Richie space-time continuum, which would mean that she'd be in jail for a total of about twelve minutes.
I'm trying to look on the bright side of things and see this as wake-up call Hollywood (or at least a producer at E!) needs to give Khloe her own reality show and/or barely fictionalized lady prison movie. The youngest Kardashian girl is the runaway star of the otherwise kind of stupid Keeping Up With The Kardashians. She's feisty ('member the time she started a fight the guy at the car dealership?) and independent (instead of letting her sisters set her up on a blind date, she goes out partying with her girlfriends) and totally hilarious (when she suggests that Kim get her boyfriend Reggie a leopard for their anniversary, when she refers to Bruce Jenner's wang as a "sau-seeej"). This is a woman who's time has come. Kim might have the booty, but Khloe has the brains, and when gravity fails, what would you rather be watching on your HDTV?
The list of "celebrities" who will be "competing" on the upcoming Celebrity Apprentice has been released and it makes us wary about the new season (more so than normal even). It's an "interesting" mix of C and D listers, and we use the term interesting very, very loosely. I mean, we had heard Tony Danza might be on this season, but alas, not even Tony Danza wanted to get fired by the Donald. So I'm buckling up for two hours a week of this insanity... again, but I'm pretty sure it's gonna suck hard. See our reasons why below.