What has country music come to? All the ladies last night had criminally normal hair! Hell, even Kid Rock's backup dancers looked like they'd managed to avoid draining six bottles of Aquanet and/or a visit to Dolly's wigmaker when putting together their look. We watch these things for giant hair, Nashville! Get your sides out! And speaking of things that were missing from the country music industry spectacle, the following crowd-pleasers did not take the stage and I'm steamin' mad: Tim and Faith, Dolly Parton, Dierks Bentley, Gretchen Wilson, Little Big Town, and Toby Keith (OK, maybe I didn't miss Toby Keith, per se, but for being the BMOC of Nashville, he was glaringly absent). On the upside, there was no Jessica Simpson! Ahh, that one almost makes up for the lack of Tim and Faith. Except not at all, because they are amazing shining lights of hope and everlasting love that make Brangelina look like Speidi. Anyway.