It's amazing how much money some people will give up for a little bit of sleep.
Hey everybody, it is time again to judge the reality hordes for their heinous behavior! And what a doozy this week was. I had to cut all kinds of horrible behavior just to make room for my five nominees, but if you'll indulge me, I'd still like to disparage them here in a dishonorable mention kind of way. Ahem! Nice try, Tamar from Braxton Family Values, for emasculating your sister's husband and making her separation proceedings all about you. I'd also like to recognize the Duggars for becoming an infomercial for Focus on the Family this week, as well as LuAnn from The Real Housewives of New York for being a snotty, if hilarious ("Herman Munster shoes"), bitch, and Dana from Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition for constantly and heinously referring to himself in the third person. Now, on to business as usual: five nominees; one trash king to rule them all.
Some of us may still be recovering from the cultural moment that was American Idol, but it looks like there's no rest for the weary reality fan ahead. A plethora of talent competition shows, including The Voice, America's Got Talent, So You Think You Can Dance and last night's Platinum Hit, all take center stage this summer. But no matter how fantastic, absurd, or otherwise unpredictable their respective contestants are, it's the judges that give them their -- pardon the pun -- voice, not to mention their mood, sense of humor and overall vibe. And yes, they also give the shows their legitimacy (or lack thereof). Here's how each judge rates: