Today it was announced that NBC's upcoming sitcom adaptation of Chelsea Handler's memoir Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea has found its 20-year-old version of Chelsea Handler in Laura Prepon, a TV veteran who is 30, and a mere five years younger than Chelsea Handler's (alleged, because, come on) current age. We're not saying Laura Prepon won't do a decent job, but nevertheless, this means it's time to cast other comedians' memoirs with their TV-inappropriate counterparts. Because you know TV executives would do half this crap.
Because we need a celebrity version of everything, ABC has ordered Celebrity Wife Swap, wherein celebrities from opposing walks of life will switch spouses for a week in the same chaste extended key party format as the regular people edition -- but better! Rumor has it the show is gunning for SNL alum and noted homophobe Victoria Jackson for an episode, so I think it's safe to say they're really reaching for the crazy stars here. And since I live to help the networks with these kinds of things, here are some fun swap ideas I know I for one would watch the hell out of.
Well, he's been talking about it for years, but it's finally happening... Simon Cowell is leaving American Idol, which means that after the current season (which begins tonight), not one, but two of the original judges will be gone. Paula Abdul's seat has been filled by Ellen DeGeneres (how she'll fare remains to be seen), but the show has always revolved around Simon's cutting remarks and candid criticisms, so replacing him will be a much larger task. We've come up with some people who might be up for the job, or at least could be entertaining to watch while we wait for The X Factor to premiere.
From Spy Kids to... dealing human organs on the black market?
Here's some career advice you can take away from the news today: (1) You'll get places in life if you're fearless and have a thing for gross, fat guys; (2) If you're part of a famous singing trio, don't publicize your purity rings; and (3) If you're a famous comedian, don't mock said purity rings unless you want to die. Also, there's news about guest stars, Jennifer Garner, and new comedy shows.
The bitch is back y'all! It comes as no surprise to anyone who lives on the earth and has use of their eyes that Ms. Spears will be gracing us with her newly toned, less obviously addled presence for the MTV VMA's this Sunday. (BTW who here loves those promos with Russell Brand where she totally cops to the fact that she doesn't know who the hell he is?)
The new news, though, is that Brit Brit will be opening the show just like she did last year. Well, hopefully not like she did last year. Hopefully the opposite of like she did last year. You guys, I don't want to jinx anything, but I think, to paraphrase Kathy Griffin, we might just have our diva back.