Ob-la-di, ob-la-da, Life goes on... but not for very much longer.

Tags: Community, Cybill Shepherd, Deadliest Warrior, Glee, Gwyneth Paltrow, Joan Allen, Life Unexpected, Luck, Most Lethal, Ride-Along, S#*! My Dad Says, Speidi, Supernanny, The Chicago Code

Recently, Daniel Franco, who already had two chances at Project Runway (two too many, if you ask us) got another shot at reality TV by appearing as the self-described lovechild of Susan Boyle and Adam Lambert on American Idol. Really, some people just don't know when to quit. However, he did inspire us to look back at the desperate, pathetic famewhores who make his two brief runs at reality TV look practically lazy by comparison.

Tags: Boston Rob, Heidi Pratt, Jonny Fairplay, Megan Hauserman, Omarosa, Rob Mariano, Romber, Speidi, Spencer Pratt, Trishelle

Some confused soul over at VH1 has mistaken Miley Cyrus for a diva (it was the pole dancing that did it, wasn't it?!), and we may soon be making jokes about the spawn of Speidi. It's a heinous day in news.

Tags: 24, Heidi Pratt, Heroes, Jayma Mays, March to Madness, Mary Lynn Rajskub, Miley Cyrus, Paula Abdul, Speidi, Spencer Pratt, The Hills

We'll all be sad when the Comic-Con is over, leaving us with significantly less exciting news, but for now we'll just revel in all its nerdy glory! In other news, Speidi continues to hijack entertainment world, but Georgina Sparks is coming back, so maybe she'll take them down! Okay, not likely, but wouldn't that be so badass?

Tags: Dexter, Gossip Girl, Heidi Pratt, Michelle Trachtenberg, Padma Lakshmi, Speidi, Spencer Pratt, Tim Burton

Seriously. I was on a conference call with the most recently eliminated Baldwin, and apparently delicious smack-talkin' doesn't necessarily run in the family, because Stephen not only claimed to genuinely like Janice Dickinson and think she's a good person, but he also believes Speidi's Christianity is authentic and not at all being exaggerated for fame whoring purposes. He's like the innocent little Hummel Baldwin. It's precious, really.

Tags: I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here, Janice Dickinson, Speidi, Stephen Baldwin

Congratulations, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt -- you've managed to get yet another article written about you. It's sad that it had to be about you pretending to break up, but congrats on getting people (and People) to report on the break-up like it was real. (And saying it was over "fake bad press"? So meta!) Hopefully, this revelation won't affect your ability to get onto a show about single girls, Heidi, or your ability to dress like a hobo, Spencer, but if you're running out of fake scandals to milk, here are some headlines we came up with that we're pretty sure the more gullible celebrity rags will go for. Use them whenever you feel the warming glow of flashbulbs fading away and the cold winter of anonymity approaching. We've even suggested handy follow-up projects!

Tags: Heidi Montag, Speidi, Spencer Pratt, The Hills

Jennifer Aniston's descending upon yet another perfectly good show, and Sookeh and Bee-ehl got married in the real life.

Tags: ABC, Anna Paquin, Betty White, Chase, Cougar Town, Creative Arts Emmys, Emmys, Evan Rachel Wood, Heidi Montag, Jennifer Aniston, Jennifer Morrison, Neil Patrick Harris, No Ordinary Family, Old Spice Guy, Speidi, Spencer Pratt, Stephen Moyer, True Blood

Holy crap what a piece of trash this show is. You know when you settle in to watch something you know is going to be a disaster, and it just goes so far beyond the level of garbage you expected into some other realm of toxic waste television? That's what I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here! is. The Bachelorette is trashy. The Hills is garbage. I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here! is radioactive and should be buried in a drum deep in the desert somewhere. I loved it! I bet I won't feel that way three nights from now when I've overdosed and started glowing in the dark, but for now let's run down the awesomely horrible and just plain horrible moments from last night's premiere, since the terms "good" and "bad" do not apply to deadly nuclear waste, which is of course all "bad." Alert the CDC, I'm makin' a list!

Tags: I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here, Speidi