For the past 30 years, MTV has been a major part of my life. And on its 30th birthday (which probably puts it soundly out of its own demographic), it seems important to acknowledge that while the show was originally a haven for music video, the network switched gears in the '90s when it more or less invented something entirely new: reality TV. Ever since Julie from Alabama met Eric the male model back in 1992, the network has been in the forefront of innovation of the genre, creating the candid reality show, the competition reality show, celebreality and a multitude of other subgenres that have transformed the television industry for good and for ill. So while there's a part of me that still misses Downtown Julie Brown, those antiquated things called videos and Remote Control, I can't help but be impressed by how MTV has changed the way TV gets real.
So many new DVD sets! So little time/space! Barring our sudden ability to manipulate time and space, we're gonna do these rapid-fire style. Do not feel slighted, little DVD sets -- you are all important. To somebody.
With Dinner for Schmucks coming out, we couldn't help but conjure up a list of the schmuckiest reality stars that have graced our television screens in the past year. This grouping of "unique" individuals makes the family from Home for the Holidays look tame. So get ready for a heaping of pathological liars, fame-hungry douchebags, and other shmuck-worthy reality characters that would make you want to set yourself on fire before the appetizers come out. We're serving them a dish of cold revenge for what they have put us through on their shows.
Ah, Orange County. Land of so-bad-it's-good televised opportunities, exemplified by shows like The O.C., Laguna Beach, Newport Harbor and Real Housewives of Orange County, where the average household income consists of too many digits for the shows' stars to add up (without the help of a calculator-toting assistant). What those shows fail to acknowledge is the existence of lower-class families in their neighborhoods, living paycheck-to-paycheck to reside in a single filthy motel room they can barely afford, which is the focus of Alexandra Pelosi's new documentary series on HBO, Homeless: The Motel Kids of Orange County.
Camille Grammer may be leaving Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, while Audrina Patridge gets her own show on VH1. I guess how it works in the reality show world is one airhead in, one airhead out.
Okay, everyone laughs at Heidi and Spencer Pratt's staged photo ops and I'm a Celebrity... shenanigans, and Heidi's so-called music career, and Spencer's so-called "beard," because we all know that they're just trying to get people to take pictures of them, and to get America to continue to pay attention to them. But now it's just sad. Spencer claims he is in the process of changing his name -- legally, mind you -- to "King Spencer Pratt," because, in his words, "I have decided that if there is a Queen of England and Prince William, we need to have a King of America, and I have nominated myself for that title." Seriously, is he mentally ill? [Dear Rest of the World: Please ignore him.]
The only person more obsessed with hosting things than Hugh Jackman is Neil Patrick Harris. And that's the way I like it!
Now that Sad Grampa and his sidekick ol' HMILF (that's Hockey Mom I'd Like To .... oh you know) are safely out of the picture and Obama's beginning his quest to right the wrongs of the past administration, I feel it's appropriate to train our focus on an insidious enemy that's set down deep roots in this fair nation of ours. You all know what I'm talking about right?
Yesterday I did my fair share of bitching about the recent slew of stuntcasting news for 30 Rock's upcoming season, saying as a longtime fan I personally don't care to see an episode where Jennifer Aniston or Oprah Winfrey eats up significant screen time, but that I understand 30 Rock is in desperate need of ratings so I'll just suck it up for now. It's fair to say I owe them at least that much for all the hilarity they've given me. My resolve to give the show a break is wearing a little thin, however, with today's news that Gossip Girl's Leighton Meester and Blake Lively will be appearing in a November sweeps episode. Really? Now I have to endure those two as well? And more importantly, why those two over Chuck Bass?! He's hilarious! This begs the question -- how much worse is this going to get?
Lauren Conrad will appear as a guest star on the hit ABC Family show Greek. She will be playing -- wait for it! -- herself, showing up in a dream sequence as Casey's (played by Kelsey Grammer's daughter Spencer) spiritual advisor (?!) and best friend in the second season's finale, set to air on October 28. Acting as a guide, Lauren will help Casey with a very important decision (!!!!??), probably involving some sort of love triangle. EW.com says that there will be no direct Hills references in the script but that if you're a die-hard fan you will be able to detect a Hillsian vibe. Wow, trippy! Guess LC's lining up her ducks for when her fashion career goes to hell. Oh wait.