Happy Friday, everybody! Time to discuss this week's horrible human beings. Will it be one of those idiots on The Bachelorette? One of those trashcans from the Real Housewives franchises? A bitchy aspiring Food Network star? Let's get in there and figure this out!
TGIF, everybody -- time to judge some strangers again! As usual, I have presented my five most heinous reality stars of this week and crowned a most horrible but deserving winner. A lot of great, drunken fights this round, so that's fun. Make sure to check out next week's, where there will undoubtedly be some Bachelorette action in the mix.
Hey, at least they're consistent. After spending the first half hour of last night's Real Housewives of New Jersey finale looking at Teresa's stupid McMansion, looking at blurred out photos of Danielle's self-porn life scrapbook with her kids (yikes!) and learning that Dina's daughter hoards food at an alarmingly unhealthy level (double yikes!), we finally got to see the big, much-hyped dinner party fight. And shock! It was so not worth waiting for!
Mr. Buffy is teaming up with Jack Bauer next season, and I'm in heaven. Also, other news.
With Dinner for Schmucks coming out, we couldn't help but conjure up a list of the schmuckiest reality stars that have graced our television screens in the past year. This grouping of "unique" individuals makes the family from Home for the Holidays look tame. So get ready for a heaping of pathological liars, fame-hungry douchebags, and other shmuck-worthy reality characters that would make you want to set yourself on fire before the appetizers come out. We're serving them a dish of cold revenge for what they have put us through on their shows.
The Real Housewives of New Jersey's Danielle Staub might run for Congress, everybody! That is such a good idea! Though it is kind of bittersweet, because it looks like all her dirt has already been dug up. So backwards -- that's supposed to happen once you're already in office, lady! But no matter. She's going to be a fantastic representative of fine politics for me to poop on. Let's take a gander at all the urgent things she will promise to take care of for the citizens of New Jersey when she runs.
It's another one of those sad days. On the plus side, I can be the one billionth blogger today to say "heaven just got another angel" with zero irony.
I had high hopes for this series, as I've grown to really love particularly the New York and OC installments (I'm getting there with Atlanta. Maybe this season I'll develop a proper obsession), but so far I pretty much hate this show. I know we're only five episodes in, but these five episodes have offered far less compelling material than the first five episodes of each of the other franchise's debut seasons. I'm definitely excited about watching them threaten to pummel each other next Tuesday, but man, what a letdown the first five episodes of this show have been. I've tried to explore the roots of the problem.