Hey everybody, it is time again to judge the reality hordes for their heinous behavior! And what a doozy this week was. I had to cut all kinds of horrible behavior just to make room for my five nominees, but if you'll indulge me, I'd still like to disparage them here in a dishonorable mention kind of way. Ahem! Nice try, Tamar from Braxton Family Values, for emasculating your sister's husband and making her separation proceedings all about you. I'd also like to recognize the Duggars for becoming an infomercial for Focus on the Family this week, as well as LuAnn from The Real Housewives of New York for being a snotty, if hilarious ("Herman Munster shoes"), bitch, and Dana from Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition for constantly and heinously referring to himself in the third person. Now, on to business as usual: five nominees; one trash king to rule them all.

Tags: 19 Kids and Counting, Basketball Wives, Braxton Family Values, Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition, Platinum Hit, The Real Housewives of New York, The Real Housewives of Orange County, The World According to Paris

Happy Friday, everybody! Time to discuss this week's horrible human beings. Will it be one of those idiots on The Bachelorette? One of those trashcans from the Real Housewives franchises? A bitchy aspiring Food Network star? Let's get in there and figure this out!

Tags: The Bachelorette, The Next Food Network Star, The Real Housewives of New Jersey, The Real Housewives of Orange County

TGIF, everybody! It's time to sort through all the human trash that was on reality TV this week and crown a king of the garbage heap. The following are my five nominees, plus this week's big winner. As always, this stuff is extremely scientific and cannot be argued with. Congratulations, top jerk!

Tags: Audrina, Bethenny Ever After, Bethenny Frankel, Gretchen Rossi, Laurieann Gibson, Lynn Patridge, Slade Smiley, Survivor: Redemption Island, The Dance Scene, The Real Housewives of Orange County

In response to some rumors to the contrary, TLC has announced that they have no plans to include Jon Gosselin's alleged girlfriend Deanna Hummel in future episodes of Jon & Kate Plus 8, pretty much just to spare us the grossness of it all, which is awfully kind of them. Other shows should be that considerate. Here are a few suggestions for reality stars we wouldn't mind seeing relegated to behind-the-scenes-only action on our favorite shows from now on.

Tags: American Idol, Bachelor, Bachelorette, Charm School, Dancing with the Stars, Extreme Home Makeover, I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here!, Jon and Kate Plus 8, The Fashion Show, The Real Housewives of New York, The Real Housewives of Orange County

It's finally Friday, and as usual the week has been full of ghastly people behaving terribly on reality shows, so let's do this thing: Five horrible nominees, one trash king crowned at the end. As always, feel free to play along in the comments.

Tags: Alexis Bellino, American Idol, Carson Daly, Khloe & Lamar, Randy Jackson, Sonja Morgan, The Real Housewives of New York, The Real Housewives of Orange County, The Voice

I know we all have Royal Wedding fever today -- or if you're me, Royal Wedding hats fever -- but it is still Friday, which means it's time to take a break from The Most Important Wedding of All Time to turn our attention to royals of a different kind: the royal douchebags of this week's reality TV. Here are my five nominees, plus this week's winner. Don't worry, I'll try to make it brief so you don't feel like you're cheating on Catherine (I try to honor the Queen and abstain from calling her Kate) and William too much.

Tags: 16 & Pregnant, Celebrity Apprentice, Dustin Zito, La Toya Jackson, NeNe Leakes, Star Jones, The Amazing Race, The Real Housewives of Orange County, The Real World: Las Vegas

Frankly, just about everybody involved with American Idol at this point could be nominees this week, but for the sake of diversity, I have only one nominee from that horror show and four deserving nominees from other shows entirely. Let's get right to the bloodshed, shall we?

Tags: American Idol, Scotty McCreery, Slade Smiley, Survivor, The Real Housewives of New York, The Real Housewives of Orange County

The Bravo A-List Awards (or as we affectionately refer to them around here, "The Bravo Prom") aired last night, and as expected the show was a mixed bag of really entertaining and really frustrating -- hey, kind of like Bravo programming! They are so meta over there. Anyway, if you're as much a psycho Bravo reality fan as I am, read on for my picks for best and worst moments of the night, and play along at home!

Tags: Bravo, Bravo A-List Awards, Chelsea Handler, Kathy Griffin, Raphael Saadiq, The Real Housewives of Atlanta, The Real Housewives of New York, The Real Housewives of Orange County, Tori Spelling