It's almost better when you've got no idea what these people are talking about. Here we present the week's best out of context quotes plucked straight from reality television.
Say what you will about the moral aspect of parents parading their children around in intense competitions that may or may not be age-appropriate, but in terms of the entertainment factor of the TV shows that portray these cultures, it's hard to argue that they're not at least a little bit intriguing, if not shamefully enjoyable. After all, the best parts of these series come from the pointless drama and the stressed-out adults. (Though I do like the moments when the kids are genuinely happy, too. I'm not a monster!) TLC's Toddlers & Tiaras has had a strong choke-hold on the market of madness since early 2009... but after a strong premiere season of Lifetime's Dance Moms, I think it's necessary to pit these two shows against each other in a grudging, hair-pulling battle of exploitative candid reality shows, if not only to cut down your weekly intake of stage mothers next season. Just know that when I say "Winner", I mean which show I would rather watch, given the battle.
Can't make it the whole summer without seeing plenty of blood, guts and zombies? AMC has got you covered.
Looks like The Firm is on the chopping block this season.
You'd think these people would run out of awful steam towards the end of summer, but they're still as obnoxious as they always are.
People need to stop whining, or get off our damned television.
Truth be told, I did not specifically remember little Eden Wood out of all the other pageant children on Toddlers & Tiaras. I also don't entirely understand why Logo, of all networks, decided to give this seven-year-old her own reality show, but I assume it has something to do with connections from her "King of Reality" manager, Andrew Sullivan. Whatever the case, the pilot was fun and mindless enough except for one obviously glaring problem: Not enough Eden!
Besides all the weight-loss shows, the dance shows, the cake shows, the multiple-births shows and the washed-up-celebrities-date-skanks shows, there is another reality genre that surpasses them all: the depressing-as-all-hell genre. Here are the top 10 reality shows that make us cry into our Häagen-Dazs on a regular basis.