Last night Syfy invited the press and advertisers to learn about their new shows, and see a private performance of the Broadway debacle Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark (that will be getting its own entirely separate review, because I can't even begin to squish all my thoughts on that in here). Anyway, there was the usual hobnobbing, and then Syfy President Dave Howe took to the stage, along with a flipping costumed Spider-Man to unveil their multitude of new shows. We saw clips of a lot of them, and there's some potential... of course, there are more shows about ghosts (because, of course) and also even more cheesy original films coming our way in the next year.
Today's news includes Justin Timberlake, Tommy Lee, the Hollywood Walk of Fame and Michael Jackson. I swear this is not a re-print of a blog from the '90s.
While I was sitting in the theater waiting for Hellboy 2 to start this weekend I was subjected to some "commercials" that promised a behind -the-scenes look at such quality films as Death Race and The Sisterhood of Traveling Pants sequel (Sadly, I'll probably see both, but didn't need an "inside look" at either of them). Among these commercials was a peak at Battleground Earth. No, it isn't a sequel to the John Travolta Scientology debacle. Instead it is an environmentally friendly reality show that pits Tommy Lee (not Tommy Lee Jones, skeezy Tommy "I used to be married to Pam Anderson" Lee) against rapper Ludacris, and it's for this network that I didn't even know I had on my cable box called Planet Green. (They've also got a show with Adrien Grenier, who knew?) It features Ludacris and Tommy Lee and their respective "Eco-rage" (short-hand for eco-friendly entourage) members facing off in tasks that will make our world a better place to live. I was going to make a joke about how them not making music anymore would be a good start, but then I realized that I own CDs by both of them so I'm going to shut up about that now.
Proof positive that the porn 'stache has reached critical mass and that the soft-rock renaissance is just getting started: according to Billboard, a cartoon starring John Oates (of Hall & Oates, duh) and his magical mustache is being shopped around to various networks. If all goes according to plan, J-Stache will focus on a buttoned up, family -oriented Oates whose infamous mustache is trying to lure him back into the rock & roll lifestyle.
File under: Unbelievably Retarded Ideas. And while you're at it, you might as well cross-list it under Wildly Inappropriate Children's Programming. According to Variety, Fox is developing The Life and Times of Jimmy Jaxx, a cartoon based on the life of well-endowed, former wife-beating drunk Tommy Lee. See? Told ya. The cartoon will be loosely (and for the sake of all that's good and pure, I hope it's really really loosely) based on the life of the Motley Crue drummer as he experiences the duality of being a dad and simultaneously living the lifestyle of a famous rock-star. Lee himself will be voicing the main character. Oh, and did I mention that the show will feature talking tattoos that come to life and function as Jimmy's evil conscience? Yeah. The show's writing staff went straight to the source to come up with some zany plot lines for the half-hour 'toon. "He told us some great personal stories, like the time he filled a bathtub up with Cherry Icees for his kids," writer Michael Davidoff told Variety. "He didn't expect that they'd end up being dyed red." How... adorable? All I'm saying is nobody better get all uppity and threaten lawsuits when a sex tape that shows Jimmy Jaxx and Stripperella getting frisky on a yacht starts to circulate on the internet. Mkay? Cause y'all were asking for it.