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Aw, I kinda liked all of the hilariously bad guest judges last year...
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Looks like everyone's renewing their contracts this month.
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I happen to think today's TV news stories are fun! Then again, I also think it's fun to stay in on a Friday night and watch The Singing Bee, so maybe my standards aren't exactly trustworthy.
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A much-anticipated show is moving up to a closer date, former stars get their jobs back, and a head honcho disses a famous star. That's the dish on the real-world TV news, but in the teeny-bopper realm, it's about Twilight, Twilight and more Twilight. Gag.
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The good news is Matt LeBlanc is now gainfully employed. The bad news is Lauren Conrad just became a film mogul.
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When you watch the MTV Movie Awards, you can be sure of two things: 1) the producers will do everything in their power to try to entertain you, and 2) they won't always succeed. Whether celebrities are trying to be funny or simply trying to pretend they care about this perennially late-to-the-party awards show -- voted on by MTV viewers, no less -- you're pretty much guaranteed at least a dozen or so moments that make you cringe in spite of yourself. What follows are the ten most cringe-worthy moments from the May 31st broadcast, in order of how deep into our couch we tried to burrow to escape them.
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Awards, Can't They Just Leave Well Enough Alone?, Celebrity Child Abuse
The Teen Choice Awards, aka The Miley Cyrus Twilight Program, with Special Guests the Jonas BrothersThe Jonas Brothers may have hosted the show, but I swear Miley Cyrus was on stage more than anybody, even Robert Pattinson. Accepting awards, lightly pole dancing, "honoring" her "hero" Britney, lip-synching to somebody's plugged-in iPod (how is it possible to sound so bad while lip-synching? My vocal cords hurt for her), blessing us like the teen pope she is, talking to that mop-headed micromachine fast-talking guy, selling us Max Azria for Wal-Mart and on and on and on. Why bother even having somebody else host it? They should have just made Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, Zac Efron, Chace Crawford and the JoBros line up on stage while Miley went down the row and sang, "Look at this guy!" over and over at them for two hours. It would have been much more efficient, yet still exactly the same show.
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This was a tough one. With True Blood finishing its first season Sunday, and Twilight hitting theaters, we put all our knowledge of the two most popular undying love stories around right now to use to figure out which one is the best bloodsucking tale adapted for the screen this year. We've read the Sookie Stackhouse mysteries, we're obsessed with Alan Ball's take on them, and after reading all of the Twilight books, we'll be first in line to see the flick, no matter what those critics may say. So sink your teeth into our side-by-side comparison and see if you agree with our final judgment.
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I want you guys to be the first to know that vampires are totally, totally the new black. For proof, look no further than the latest in a string of Dracula-referencing additions to the pop culture stew (which already includes the band Vampire Weekend, the Facebook vampire function and a little movie called Twilight). I'm talking of course about the new Alan Ball-helmed HBO series True Blood, based on the cult book series Southern Vampire by Charlaine Harris, which tells the tale of a clairvoyant waitress (played by the button-cute Anna Paquin) who befriends a Victorian-era vampire named Bill (sexy-hot Brit Stephen Moyer) in a backwoods Louisiana town. The show's back story -- since the creation of synthetic blood, vampires have 'come out' in society and are in the process of assimilating, facing prejudice and adulation (via vampire groupies dubbed 'fang bangers') in equal measure -- has been months in the making thanks to a slew of viral microsites devoted to the propagation of the True Blood mythology.
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