When the news broke yesterday that Sharon Stone will be playing a former cop (!) turned prosecutor (!!) on SVU for four episodes in April, I got pretty excited. First of all, that's hilarious. Secondly, it made me think of all the other washed-up actors who have yet to make an appearance on the guest-star haven that is the Law & Order franchise. Certainly there are other people who used to be in movies who have since self-sabotaged their way into needing an SVU guest star paycheck, or just might randomly show up for no other reason than to confuse people (like Robin Williams did). I've come up with a few who might work. Would they be good? Not necessarily. But are they available? Most definitely, and that's all that matters.
Because my beloved Burn Notice is taking a three-week break from the airwaves starting tonight, I've had to turn to Hulu to get my Thursday Bruce Campbell fix. Luckily, they have the complete series of his short-lived, action-comedy atrocity, Jack of All Trades. And when I say it's an atrocity, I mean it with love, but that's exactly what it is. If you've never seen the show, the farce follows Campbell as an early 19th century American spy sent to the West Indies to mess up Napoleon's game. Every episode put Campbell's jokey sense of humor front and center, which works sometimes, really doesn't other times and, well... let's just say Verne Troyer plays Napoleon, so it's that kind of humor. After the jump, watch The Bruce-man stick it to Napoleon for kidnapping Ben Franklin. Sidenote: Was Napoleon really as big a bastard in real life as he is in American film and television? It seems hard to imagine. Anyway, enjoy the episode! You've been warned!
The recruiting process for a show like Celebrity Rehab is much more discriminating than you might imagine. Like The Surreal Life and other reality shows of its ilk, CR requires a very specific mix of celebrities who fall into precise pop culture-based categories. The more a categories a celeb belongs to, the more incentive, to my mind, there is to cast him or her (and the more likely he or she will be to provoke all manner of drama on the show). Taking cues from last season's diverse lineup, I've devised a crib sheet of pre-req's that stars must satisfy to be eligible for the show from here on out.