NBC and Fox are down, so now it's ABC's turn
It's network upfronts week, and what a wonderful time to be alive! All the promise of new shows with great casts and expertly cut trailers, plus all the fun of prematurely mocking shows with dumb plots and even worse CGI (seriously, Once Upon a Time? What is even happening there, ABC?). But what's even better is that we can thank the TV gods for the rare moments when networks get it right and decide to pass on awful-sounding pilots. As with every year, many possible disasters were rejected this season, but these are the ones we're happiest about. (Assuming they don't get "saved" by another network or come back to haunt us next summer, of course.)
ABC and Marvel recently made a big splash in the news by announcing that they were going to be bringing back one classic Marvel superhero TV series, The Incredible Hulk, and starting an all-new one, Cloak & Dagger. Based on a comic book about two teens who were given an overdose of synthetic drugs that activated their mutant superpowers, the characters Cloak and Dagger have been around since 1982 but have faded in and out of the spotlight since then. And while the new Hulk series has five decades of comics, two feature films and a beloved TV show to draw inspiration from, we're worried that the lesser-known C&D might suffer from their new home on ABC Family. As longtime fans of the characters, here are some tips for what to do and what not to do with them.
Guess who's back.
Because we need a celebrity version of everything, ABC has ordered Celebrity Wife Swap, wherein celebrities from opposing walks of life will switch spouses for a week in the same chaste extended key party format as the regular people edition -- but better! Rumor has it the show is gunning for SNL alum and noted homophobe Victoria Jackson for an episode, so I think it's safe to say they're really reaching for the crazy stars here. And since I live to help the networks with these kinds of things, here are some fun swap ideas I know I for one would watch the hell out of.
Gaga mentoring the American Idol kids... will this include meat dresses?
Now, imagine this was a bloody railroad! Sounds amazing, right?!
Charlie Sheen is not making idle threats, y'all.
This is your lawyer.
I will never doubt Terry O'Quinn again. Ever.