People need to stop whining, or get off our damned television.
With fall TV in full swing, there are already shows getting cancelled, others getting full-season pickups and still more returning shows that could use a little help. While some programs have problems that could take an entire year to repair (see: House), these other series just need some quick fixes that would make them exponentially more entertaining almost immediately.
It's nearly Valentine's Day and while we could delight in recalling the romantic TV couples that made us swoon in the past, or list the cute almost-couples we want to have hook up now, we've opted instead to focus on current pairings who just have no business at all being together. Perhaps we've just got cold black hearts, but we'd love to see these folks split up for everyone's sake, especially viewers like us.
Remember these two rays of sunshine? Well, you might be getting them back. Joy.
Last night, Expedition Impossible, the latest competition reality show debuted and this one bears some remarkable similarities to The Amazing Race. It's from the mind of Mark Burnett, the reality mega-producer who brought us the granddaddy of competitive reality shows, Survivor. He also brought us Pirate Master, but he'd probably prefer that we forget about that one. Anyway, I was excited because I loved Burnett's early series Eco-Challenge (though the production values lacked some sparkle, the actual physicality of the show was appreciated) and hoped that this would be a modern version of that. In some ways it is, but in other ways, it also liberally borrows from TAR. Here's how to keep these shows straight and figure out which is worth your time if the majority of your life isn't spent watching reality shows like mine is.
Does this season of Survivor feel familiar? Well, it may be because cast member Russell Hantz has already appeared in two of the last three seasons of the show, and "Boston Rob" Mariano is currently enjoying a record fourth season, having first appeared back in Season 4. And while we understand the show's desire to capitalize on their popularity (as well have some sort of continuity on a show that changes its cast every season), we're actually getting a little tired of their antics -- in this context, at least. Why not put these two on other reality shows, where they can put their skills and abilities to use achieving goals other than social gameplaying? We've got some suggestions for "R&R."
It's official: Jeff and Jordan from last summer's Big Brother will be on the upcoming season of The Amazing Race (along with Caitlin Upton, the Miss Teen USA contestant who didn't know why Americans couldn't read maps). Despite the fact that Jordan won BB, these two are an odd choice for TAR since Jordan isn't exactly what you'd call a savvy world traveler, or a very smart person in general. So we're skeptical that they'll make it very far at all (though possibly further than Caitlin) and, much like Romber, it'll be weird to see (minor) celebrities and former reality stars competing against regular folks/aspiring reality stars. If TAR really wants to go that route, why not cast all the teams that way? These would be our dream pairings:
Big Brother started last night, and while we're more than a little bit excited about it, we're slightly skeptical about what twists might lie ahead for us. Big Brother has done us wrong many a time before, so we're worried that this "clique" theme might be a dud. The contestants were selected because they were either popular kids, brainiacs or outcasts or jocks and they'll have to play in their respective teams. Great, it's just like high school all over again. Plus, bringing back a former contestant as the 13th contestant? And that person is Jessie? We're consoling ourselves with the fact that he'll probably be out of the mix in a heartbeat because who'd be silly enough to keep a known quantity around? Anyway, it got us thinking about some other twists on reality shows that turned out to be big old duds.
So unless you're one of the 26% of people that the Sprint commercial told me had never heard of Twitter, you know it's been a big week for tweeters. Tweeting? Twits? This lingo is killing me. Anyway: Ashton Kutcher won the race to 1,000,000 followers! Suck it, CNN. And Oprah's on Twitter now! Preemptively suck it, Ashton! But there's an even more exciting piece of Twitter news, one that brings us more joy even than the news that we can now follow Ice-T (and by the way...we're on Twitter too!)...
This is me trying to be courteous to those who have yet to see last night's Amazing Race installment, in which two teams that deserve to be in next week's finale and one team that is literally the definition of borderline special needs were sent to said finale, while the most adorable, odds-defying, most vertically-coifed team of them all was sent packing. Ugh. This is the worst.