So I was just watching a day-long marathon of The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency (shut up, you're not better than me), and holy crap, you guys: they are still running ads for Elizabeth Taylor's White Diamonds fragrance. In 2007. That very same ad you remember, too, with Liz in the dyed-black hair helmet, dropping in on that weird last-outpost-of-society poker match, dropping her diamond earrings onto the table and purring, "These have always brought me luck." Like...what is she doing there, on this remote airstrip in outer Off-the-grid-istan? And why is she giving this obvious ripoff of Frisco Jones from General Hospital diamonds to gamble with? Isn't she worried she'll end up accidentally funding the Sandinistas or something?  

Digressions aside, I cannot believe...well, I cannot believe anyone's still buying White Diamonds, but I also cannot believe that this is still the ad they use to sell it. Wendy's isn't still running Clara Peller hollering "Where's the beef?" are they? 

Also: Who are they kidding, really? We've seen Elizabeth Taylor this decade: doddering around on the Golden Globes stage with an envelope shrieking "GLADIATOR!"; showing up to public events on the arm of Michael Jackson looking even freakier than he does; whatever the hell that "Maaaarried? AAOOOOO!" soundbite was all about. Nobody wants to smell like Crazy Great-Grandma, White Diamonds people. Pack it in, or name a successor.

Tags: commercials, elizabeth taylor, white diamonds