Because we need a celebrity version of everything, ABC has ordered Celebrity Wife Swap, wherein celebrities from opposing walks of life will switch spouses for a week in the same chaste extended key party format as the regular people edition -- but better! Rumor has it the show is gunning for SNL alum and noted homophobe Victoria Jackson for an episode, so I think it's safe to say they're really reaching for the crazy stars here. And since I live to help the networks with these kinds of things, here are some fun swap ideas I know I for one would watch the hell out of.
Today was just another day of ignoring Alec Baldwin as he lies through his teeth.
In a terrifying display, The Bachelor's Jake Pavelka, The Hills' Heidi Montag and The Real Housewives of New Jersey's Danielle Staub were spotted filming a reality show of some kind together recently. Even if this project never finds a network and nothing comes of it, the way the media has run with the photos of them together is no doubt just going to encourage other famewhores to try to join forces for similarly unholy super shows. I'd watch almost any of them that came into fruition, but I'd enthusiastically watch these match-ups in particular.
Today has been a strange day. Not only might there be another halfway decent ABC Family show, but the very fabric of reality TV might be starting to unfurl.
Congratulations, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt -- you've managed to get yet another article written about you. It's sad that it had to be about you pretending to break up, but congrats on getting people (and People) to report on the break-up like it was real. (And saying it was over "fake bad press"? So meta!) Hopefully, this revelation won't affect your ability to get onto a show about single girls, Heidi, or your ability to dress like a hobo, Spencer, but if you're running out of fake scandals to milk, here are some headlines we came up with that we're pretty sure the more gullible celebrity rags will go for. Use them whenever you feel the warming glow of flashbulbs fading away and the cold winter of anonymity approaching. We've even suggested handy follow-up projects!
I'm going to be honest here: I spent most of the first episode of this show transfixed by Heidi Montag's boobs in her pink shirt. Not in a pervy way, but because I was trying to figure out if she was wearing a strangely textured bra, was sitting at an odd angle or if her nipples actually point in two separate directions. When that is the most fascinating part of a series that has some of reality's most biggest nightmares, it's probably a bad omen.
Jennifer Aniston's descending upon yet another perfectly good show, and Sookeh and Bee-ehl got married in the real life.
Lots of new today, so let's get crackin'!
Now that Sad Grampa and his sidekick ol' HMILF (that's Hockey Mom I'd Like To .... oh you know) are safely out of the picture and Obama's beginning his quest to right the wrongs of the past administration, I feel it's appropriate to train our focus on an insidious enemy that's set down deep roots in this fair nation of ours. You all know what I'm talking about right?
Yesterday I did my fair share of bitching about the recent slew of stuntcasting news for 30 Rock's upcoming season, saying as a longtime fan I personally don't care to see an episode where Jennifer Aniston or Oprah Winfrey eats up significant screen time, but that I understand 30 Rock is in desperate need of ratings so I'll just suck it up for now. It's fair to say I owe them at least that much for all the hilarity they've given me. My resolve to give the show a break is wearing a little thin, however, with today's news that Gossip Girl's Leighton Meester and Blake Lively will be appearing in a November sweeps episode. Really? Now I have to endure those two as well? And more importantly, why those two over Chuck Bass?! He's hilarious! This begs the question -- how much worse is this going to get?