Either I am an insanely gullible April Fool's victim, or these are today's real TV news stories.

Tags: Anna Paquin, Brothers & Sisters, Fringe, Gabourey Sidibe, High School Musical, jersey shore, Precious, Saturday night live, Sunset Daze, True Blood

I feel like the question with cosmetic surgery is, do you do it young, when your parts are still somewhat pliable and can bounce back more believably, even if you don't really need it? Or do you wait until you're old and getting kind of haggard, even though everyone knows what you used to look like and therefore is going to be so much more terrified when they see your new mug? Ashley "High School Musical" Tisdale went one way; Joan "Knots Landing" Van Ark went another. (Yikes.)

Tags: ashley tisdale, high school musical, joan van ark, knots landing

Now that the elections are over, everyone's desperate to find something else to make fun of. It only makes sense that the juggernaut franchise High School Musical is the target that's currently the top pick. There's just so much to parody: the cheesy songs, the earnest performances, Corbin Bleu's odd hair, why there's a character named Sharpay, etc. Not to mention that every teen in the country is gaga for it.

Tags: Bruce Willis, David Letterman, High School Musical, parody, South Park

Summertime. The time when reality TV rules the land, with only reruns and a scarce few scripted dramas to break up the onslaught of wannabes desperately grasping their 15 minutes of fame. Yes, we just got scripted television back, but don't get too attached. Instead, you'll be subjected (if you choose to stay inside and watch television) to the latest addition to the juggernaut that is High School Musical. The inevitable reality series High School Musical: Summer Session is casting now, with drama kings and queens from all over the country hoping to either be the next Zac Efron or Ashley Tisdale. Why do I think -- based on experiences with my high school drama club and the non-existent careers that the "stars" or our big spring musicals have had since then -- that this is pretty freakin' unlikely? Anyway, I do like Nick Lachey who hosted one of my winter guilty pleasures Clash of the Choirs (I know... I'm so ashamed, OK?). The former Newlywed (see it could be worse... it could have been the other one) will be encouraging teens to live their dreams and will probably have to suffer through more versions of "Breaking Free" than any one person should ever have to hear. This show could be bubbly and cute and a hit with the youngsters (and i'm ashamed to admit, me), or it could be as awful and insufferable as last summer's Grease: You're the One That I Want debacle. I knew one of the finalists of that show and still could barely stomach it. Worse still... the actual production with the winners that is on Broadway now. Pain-ful. But I digress, the winner of HSM:SS will recieve some very ambiguous prize described as a chance to become "part of High School Musical history." Which I take to mean that if the series is a flop, they'll get to be an extra at a party or whatnot in one of the upcoming installments.

Tags: high school musical, nick lachey

I never thought I'd be wishing for the day when the Bachelorette was on again... but that was before I saw what ABC had to put in its place. Monday nights on the alphabet kick off with High School Musical: Get in the Picture which I ranted about yesterday a bit. It is so tediously dull that I actually conked out on the couch watching it. Never a good sign. It's just so sanitary and kind and up with people that it makes me want to bang my head into the wall, except Nick Lachey's soothing voice calms me down and puts me in a deep slumber instead so then when I wake up I have forgotten the torture I've been subjected to. It is like one of those little mind wiper things from Men in Black or the pills that they give people on Torchwood... but then see commercials and get flashbacks. Until I doze off again. This vicious circle will probably keep on going for months.

Tags: abc, high school musical, the mole, wanna bet