Ever since I can remember, I've wanted to have a prime slot between Two and a Half Men and Rules of Engagement.

Tags: Buffy, Dancing With the Stars, Eliza Dushku, Goodfellas, Katy Perry, Top Chef All-Stars

Because we need a celebrity version of everything, ABC has ordered Celebrity Wife Swap, wherein celebrities from opposing walks of life will switch spouses for a week in the same chaste extended key party format as the regular people edition -- but better! Rumor has it the show is gunning for SNL alum and noted homophobe Victoria Jackson for an episode, so I think it's safe to say they're really reaching for the crazy stars here. And since I live to help the networks with these kinds of things, here are some fun swap ideas I know I for one would watch the hell out of.

Tags: ABC, Celebrity Wife Swap, Donald Trump, Elisabeth Hasselbeck, Ellen DeGeneres, Harry Hamlin, Heidi Montag, James Carville, Jim Bob Duggar, Kathlee Gifford, Katy Perry, Kendra Wilkinson, Khloe Kardashian, Kody Brown, Lamar Odom, Lisa Rinna, Mariah Carey, Matt Roloff, Michelle Duggar, Nick Cannon, Ozzy Osbourne, Portia De Rossi, Randy Quaid, Rob Mariano, Russell Brand, Sarah Palin, Sharon Osbourne, Spencer Pratt, Teresa Giudice, The Fabulous Beekman Boys

Marty comes to HBO, Megan Mullally plays a mom, Ms. Moon Frye reminisces, Mister Rogers gets memorialized and Mad Men stay mad. This TWoP News is brought to you by the letter "M."

Tags: American Idol, Avril Lavigne, Danny Gokey, Gossip Girl, Katy Perry, Mad Men, Martin Scorcese, Megan Mullally, Mister Rogers, Party Down, Saturday Night Live, SNL

The American Idol producers are as dumb as we assumed, and Paris Hilton is still trying to act, but there's going to be more Dr. Horrible!

Tags: Anna Paquin, Dr. Horrible, Elisabeth Moss, Fred Armison, Katy Perry, Laura Dern, Mike White, Paris Hilton, Paula Abdul, Stephen Moyer, Supernatural, Victoria Beckham

Saturday Night Live premiered over the weekend with an awesome host in Amy Poehler and a relevant musical guest in Katy Perry, but somehow the episode as a whole was a real miss. Every episode has a few great sketches and a whole bunch of bad ones, but this week's episode felt like the ratio tipped far further in the direction of the bad ones, especially for an event episode that should have brought everyone's a-games. Suffice it to say that it was no placeholder for Parks & Recreation. I've listed the best and worst sketches of the night after the break, so watch and play along.

Tags: Amy Poehler, Bill Hader, Jimmy Fallon, Katy Perry, Kristen Wiig, Saturday Night Live, SNL, Tina Fey

Watching the Teen Choice Awards is a strange thing to do as a childless adult. It's an alternating mix of feeling old because I know who some of the people are because of my job but am not quite sure what their deal is (Demi Lovato and Selena Gomez are like that), and feeling immature because I can't help but get way too excited about Zefron and seeing the Pretty Little Liars and Vampire Diaries casts in sparkly outfits with hairdos and whatnot. And when neither of those things are happening I'm just being made uncomfortable by grown-ups trying to play down to kids, which is so awkward, and I don't even think kids like it -- I know I didn't like it when I was a kid. And then there's Katy Perry, who's just the most disgusting thing in the world, mugging for the camera at every turn in little high-school fantasy outfits. In short, it was a nightmare. Here are the noteworthy happenings from two of the weirdest hours of my life.

Tags: Cory Monteith, David Archuleta, Diddy, Justin Long, Katy Perry, Ken Jeong, Mark Salling, Pretty Little Liars, Shaq, Teen Choice Awards, Vampire Diaries, Zac Efron

You will not believe how much TV news there is today! Think of this as your reward for missing all of your Wednesday shows so that you could watch the State of the Union.

Tags: American Idol, Bones, Dancing with the Stars, How I Met Your Mother, Jay Leno, Jersey Shore, Joe Dirt, Katy Perry, La Femme Nikita, Lady Gaga, Lost, Ron Howard, shonda rhimes, The Bachelor, X-Factor

Camille Grammer may be leaving Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, while Audrina Patridge gets her own show on VH1. I guess how it works in the reality show world is one airhead in, one airhead out.

Tags: 30 Rock, Audrina, Audrina Patridge, Camille Grammer, Chelsea Handler, Franklin & Bash, How I Met Your Mother, J.J. Abrams, Jason Alexander, Katy Perry, Matt Damon, Playboy, Pulp, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, The Hills