So you're wondering whether there's going to be an Oscar telecast or not. Maybe you have an incredibly beloved nominee you're rooting for, and the thought of being denied an opportunity for maybe the world's sexiest acceptance speech (I'm just putting it out there, people) breaks your heart. Maybe you just love the movies and love the splendor of attention being paid. Maybe you're curious about Diablo Cody. Maybe your year isn't complete without Fug Oscars Coverage.

Whatever you're looking for, my guess is that no cheap-ass roll-up of concepts, packages, clips, tributes, home movies, mashups, fanfic, and Photoshopped pictures of Daniel Day-Lewis making out with Javier Bardem will make you feel any better, so you know what, Academy? Don't bother with Plan B. Apply the full weight of your gilded ass to getting progress made on the strike so that everyone, in good faith, can have the show go on. You're not fooling one single person with this "there will be an Oscars even if there are no Oscars" noodling, so give it up.

Tags: once, Oscars, wga strike